Welcome to our collection of Medicine Personal Statement Examples! We’ve searched far and wide to find personal statements from successful applicants all around the UK and asked them to analyse the strengths and weaknesses of their work for your own inspiration. Today’s subject is from Ikrah, who studies Graduate Medicine at the University of Sunderland.
Ikrah applied to study Graduate Medicine in 2021 after completing a Medical Sciences course and was subsequently offered a place at the University of Sunderland, which he now attends.
| University | University of Sunderland | University of Manchester | University of Sheffield | University of Leeds |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Offer? | Yes |
Let’s read the personal statement that got him a place at Sunderland, or skip straight to his feedback to learn what made his personal statement a success!
Please be aware that these examples are meant purely for the sake of inspiration, and should absolutely NOT be used as a model around which to base your own personal statement. UCAS have a rather strict system that detects plagiarism.
University of Sunderland Medicine Personal Statement Example
WHOLE PERSONAL STATEMENT
As a Medical Scientist, I have a good foundation of medical theory. My first-hand experiences have contextualised my understanding of the application of medicine in prognosis, diagnosis, and therapeutics. Applying my knowledge and skill set to add value to the lives of others is what I would want from a career, and I feel medicine captures this.
I have learnt about the commitments involved in medicine through clinical experiences. When shadowing a gastroenterologist team, I enjoyed the fast-paced and challenging environment of ward rounds. The depth of knowledge required appealed to a side of me that is ambitious and driven. I learnt the value of patience in optimising patient outcomes. Doctors took time to understand the holistic needs of patients before deciding on treatments and interventions.
Observing in theatre was a highlight of shadowing a general surgeon. It was a high-pressure environment that relied on effective communication within the surgical team. This was reinforced when I worked as a ward clerk on general surgery during the COVID-19 pandemic. Working collaboratively within a multidisciplinary team offered a unique perspective on the resilience of NHS staff. I provided clerical support by relaying high volumes of information and implementing data protection laws. Within my role I had significant patient interaction. I helped patients use technology to communicate with their friends and family during restricted visiting. It was rewarding to witness the positive impact this had on their wellbeing.
During my final year of Medical Sciences, I researched wound healing in people with diabetes. This developed my analytical skills as I collated and interpreted literature to draw conclusions. It was exciting to be a part of leading research that focused on improving patient outcomes. I also enjoy teaching, which is an integral part of medical advancement. As a teaching support technician, I work with academics and students to deliver clinical skills sessions for various healthcare degrees. This has given me the opportunity to experience medical teaching from an educational perspective. I look forward to embracing the variety of roles in medicine throughout my career.
Alongside my academic studies, I mentored students. I showed empathy and sensitivity when they confided in me about their concerns. I volunteered weekly in A&E at the Royal Devon & Exeter Hospital and continued virtually throughout the pandemic as a Check In and Chat volunteer. I found the absence of face-to-face contact challenging but overcame this by using verbal cues to ensure engagement on calls. On one occasion, I made a referral to the community team for an individual unable to get food for themselves.
It is clear delivering care as a doctor requires professionalism and comes with high levels of responsibility. Over the course of my degree, I developed leadership skills when facilitating discussions in small group sessions. This better equipped me to manage events for my university’s baking society. I have continued to bake in my spare time to maintain a good work-life balance. Going to the gym regularly helps me to relieve stress and stay active. I have participated in Parkrun, a GP encouraged initiative, which grasps the importance of considering physical and mental health.
Medicine encapsulates what I would want from a career long term. I am prepared for the lifelong commitment to an equally rewarding and challenging career.
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University of Sunderland Medicine Personal Statement Example Analysis
Now, let’s go section by section and see what Ikrah has to say about what he wrote:
INTRODUCTION
As a Medical Scientist, I have a good foundation of medical theory. My first-hand experiences have contextualised my understanding of the application of medicine in prognosis, diagnosis, and therapeutics. Applying my knowledge and skill set to add value to the lives of others is what I would want from a career, and I feel medicine captures this.
- THE GOOD
Introduction
This first part is short and introduces me nicely. A lot of people aren’t so lucky as to have a defining life moment that leads them to medicine so coming up with an opener that sets the bar for the rest of your PS can be challenging. My advice would be to keep it simple and not introduce too many experiences or concepts within the opening paragraph. Instead, try to capture and intrigue the reader to read on. Essentially, introduce yourself as a person, not as a collection of experiences. The admissions team want to know why you’re applying just as much as what you’ve done to develop your skills.
- THE BAD
Introduction
I feel the introduction could be simplified. When I read it back, it feels a bit wordier and more complex than I would have liked. To improve this, I would try to cut down the opening as although it is short, I feel it could be snappier and really entice the reader. It’s good to give the reader a good idea of who you are in your intro, but this can definitely be done in fewer words. Assuming you’ve got a lot to speak about in the rest of your statement, you’re going to want to conserve the word count.
MAIN BODY
Paragraph 1
I have learnt about the commitments involved in medicine through clinical experiences. When shadowing a gastroenterologist team, I enjoyed the fast-paced and challenging environment of ward rounds. The depth of knowledge required appealed to a side of me that is ambitious and driven. I learnt the value of patience in optimising patient outcomes. Doctors took time to understand the holistic needs of patients before deciding on treatments and interventions.
Observing in theatre was a highlight of shadowing a general surgeon. It was a high-pressure environment that relied on effective communication within the surgical team. This was reinforced when I worked as a ward clerk on general surgery during the COVID-19 pandemic. Working collaboratively within a multidisciplinary team offered a unique perspective on the resilience of NHS staff. I provided clerical support by relaying high volumes of information and implementing data protection laws. Within my role I had significant patient interaction. I helped patients use technology to communicate with their friends and family during restricted visiting. It was rewarding to witness the positive impact this had on their wellbeing.
- THE GOOD
Paragraph 1
These two paragraphs link very closely together so I have analysed them together. To start the main section of this statement, I introduced a major experience I had that I gained a lot from. From there, rather than listing off various tasks I had done during this time, I reflect on what I learned and how it relates to me & medicine. I showed a general understanding of the role of doctors in different traditional environments but also in a wider context (holistic). I was also able to introduce my own experiences as a ward clerk. This offers the readers a chance to understand how I work with other people and what I gained from being in the NHS. Reflection is probably the most important you can do in a personal statement, so be sure to discuss how each experience taught you something, no matter how obvious it may seem.
I’d say my biggest strength here is my descriptive language. The reader will likely know what it’s like to be in an environment like the ones I describe, but using storytelling techniques to increase their engagement will help my engagement stand out and become memorable. I’d highly recommend brushing up on your creative writing skills to help make your statement unique.
- THE BAD
Paragraph 1
I think I could have elaborated on the challenges of working in the NHS during the pandemic further. Although I managed to cover what I did, I think I missed an opportunity to talk about how I often went above and beyond for clinical staff and patients. This is a topic that loads of applicants would have written about, but showing an understanding of its effects does demonstrate a level of awareness of current affairs. It was the biggest medical event in my and many others’ lifetimes, so it makes sense that it would have had a significant effect on my studies and work experience. Beyond this, the quantity of experiences discussed is fairly small, but that’s not really a flaw with the statement as you have to work with what you’ve been able to achieve.
MAIN BODY
Paragraph 2
During my final year of Medical Sciences, I researched wound healing in people with diabetes. This developed my analytical skills as I collated and interpreted literature to draw conclusions. It was exciting to be a part of leading research that focused on improving patient outcomes. I also enjoy teaching, which is an integral part of medical advancement. As a teaching support technician, I work with academics and students to deliver clinical skills sessions for various healthcare degrees. This has given me the opportunity to experience medical teaching from an educational perspective. I look forward to embracing the variety of roles in medicine throughout my career.
- THE GOOD
Paragraph 2
As a graduate, it was important to mention my degree as it has cemented my desire to go for medicine. However, I did not want to just list what I did during my degree. Here, I think choosing a relevant and memorable part of my degree allowed me to showcase my personal academic interests. Further, by blending in my paid employment at a university, I have shown I have an understanding of the wider roles of doctors and how I would be keen to be involved, showing my ambition. Personal statements are as much looking towards what you hope to achieve in the future as they are reflecting on what you’ve achieved in the past.
- THE BAD
Paragraph 2
I feel that I over-exaggerated the impact of my research in this paragraph. By having phrases like ‘exciting to be a part of leading research‘ is probably a bit misleading as I wrote a literature review. I think making bold statements is a risk, especially if you feel you wouldn’t be able to justify said statements in an interview. You should always write your personal statement with the assumption that anything discussed could be mentioned in your interview, because it’s true. Not to mention, the person reading this will likely be well aware of the type of research I’m discussing and will be able to see where I’ve over-exaggerated. If I had to rewrite it, I would consider my wording to be more reflective and accurate to my actual experience.
MAIN BODY
Paragraph 3
Alongside my academic studies, I mentored students. I showed empathy and sensitivity when they confided in me about their concerns. I volunteered weekly in A&E at the Royal Devon & Exeter Hospital and continued virtually throughout the pandemic as a Check In and Chat volunteer. I found the absence of face-to-face contact challenging but overcame this by using verbal cues to ensure engagement on calls. On one occasion, I made a referral to the community team for an individual unable to get food for themselves.
- THE GOOD
Paragraph 3
This paragraph is relevant to the side of medicine that has nothing to do with science but the fact we are all humans. Displaying an understanding of this is incredibly important, especially when coming from a more scientific background. It’s easy to forget the skills required to interact with patients in potentially their most vulnerable moments, and I feel I have demonstrated that understanding very well. I think one of the main things I did well here is to include buzzwords (empathy & sensitivity) in relation to my volunteering experiences. Admissions teams do like to see an understanding of these terms, but it’s also important to use them in a way that actually benefits your writing. Using buzzwords for the sake of it is only going to harm the sincerity of your writing. By using these words appropriately, I am showing commitment and dedication to people in my own time and the profound effect it is having on both them and myself.
- THE BAD
Paragraph 3
It would have been nice to explore these experiences more, especially as they were heavily patient and people based, an area that I haven’t had much chance to discuss in this statement. I feel that up to this point I have spoken a lot about my professional qualities but I think I could have gone deeper on my personal qualities. However, that is the nature of a personal statement. You’ll never have enough time to write everything you want so compromises have to be made. I felt that my academics and scientific experience were stronger and thus more valuable to speak about.
MAIN BODY
Paragraph 4
It is clear delivering care as a doctor requires professionalism and comes with high levels of responsibility. Over the course of my degree, I developed leadership skills when facilitating discussions in small group sessions. This better equipped me to manage events for my university’s baking society. I have continued to bake in my spare time to maintain a good work-life balance. Going to the gym regularly helps me to relieve stress and stay active. I have participated in Parkrun, a GP encouraged initiative, which grasps the importance of considering physical and mental health.
- THE GOOD
Paragraph 4
Finishing things off, this is where I talk about my extracurricular activities. What I think I do well here is relating all of my discussion points back to medicine. Reflection on your own growth is important, but so is reflecting on medicine as a whole and how your experience has helped you develop into a good medical student, especially when the discussion point is not already directly linked to medicine. I also think I avoid making my experiences feel like a list as in this paragraph as I make reference to my academic studies for the third time but introduce a new skill/quality as well.
- THE BAD
Paragraph 4
I would have liked to have further discussed my other extracurricular activities as the paragraph feels quite regimented. Although I talk about work-life balance, the life part feels like it relates to work too much still according to this paragraph, which is the opposite of what I intended here. Again, this paragraph was a victim of the limited word count. The available words were used more effectively in the previous paragraphs, so there’s not much I could have done here. At the end of the day, having too much to write about is the best problem you could have!
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CONCLUSION
Medicine encapsulates what I would want from a career long term. I am prepared for the lifelong commitment to an equally rewarding and challenging career.
- THE GOOD
Conclusion
This is extremely short, but I feel it serves its purpose pretty well. I did not introduce any new experiences or skills or qualities, so I am instead allowing the main body of my personal statement to do the talking. I think by closing the statement in such a way, I have done justice to the content I have written without either drawing out my final thoughts or ending in an abrupt manner.
- THE BAD
Conclusion
To be honest, I have applied to medicine 3 years in a row and my final conclusion has not changed. Although it may not be perfect, for me I would not change it. If I have to give advice on a conclusion, I would say, read your introduction and relate your conclusion to it. Even if it is a repeating of a word or a phrase, allow your PS to come full circle as it will read nicely. Your intro is there to entice readers to go onto the rest of your PS but your conclusion is the last thought so you want it to be short and memorable.
Final Thoughts
- THE GOOD
Overall
I feel there are plenty of good qualities here that make this an effective personal statement. Starting with basic writing techniques, I have used varied sentence openers and highly descriptive language to tell an interesting story. I’ve actively tried to avoid using the same opening in consecutive sentences in order to create a reading experience that does not bore or irritate the reader.
As for my content, this statement does a good job of blending different experiences together in ways that complement each other. I was able to regularly able to reflect on the different kinds of experiences and the value they have bought in my pursuit of medicine. To top it all off, I feel it’s extremely well structured: the statement is 39 lines on MS word (equivalent to 47 on UCAS) and is regularly split up into paragraphs with distinct topics.
- THE BAD
Overall
Looking back on it all, various smaller issues build up uncertain places. The whole thing is very wordy at times, where sentences could have been simplified with the language used.
I think I downplayed some experiences, such as working as a ward clerk during COVID-19 which was incredibly challenging. I think I could have captured that better to show an understanding of the impact of the pandemic, how it affected me and how I overcame it. My other largest issue is the lack of depth in some of my discussions, such as my volunteering and extracurricular activities. Again though, this was mostly down to the word limit. Although everything can always be written a bit more efficiently, I feel that any significant reductions to my strongest paragraphs would only serve to harm them.
So there you have it! This personal statement helped Ikrah earn his place at Sunderland, which is what counts at the end of the day!
Everyone has different experiences and abilities, so you may not be able to relate to everything that was said in this personal statement. However, the information and advice provided by Ikrah is universal and will help any applicant write a better personal statement!
Be sure to check out more Medicine Personal Statement Analyses to see advice from all different kinds of applicants, including Ali Abdaal himself! Or if you want to get started on your own statement, check out 6med’s Personal Statement Bundle for all the support and resources you’ll ever need! If you want full support on every part of your application and a guaranteed place at med school, the Complete Bundle will be perfect for you.
More Medicine Personal Statement Examples & Inspiration
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