Welcome to our collection of Medicine Personal Statement Examples! We’ve searched far and wide to find personal statements from successful applicants all around the UK and asked them to analyse the strengths and weaknesses of their work for your own inspiration. Today’s subject is from Laura, who studies Graduate Medicine at the University of Warwick.
Laura had previous studied medicine at university before applying for graduate-entry medicine at a variety of UK med school. She had accepted her offer to Warwick before even receiving interview invites elsewhere!
| University | University of Warwick | University of Southampton | Queen Mary Medical School | King’s College London |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Offer? | Yes | Interview Declined |
Let’s read the personal statement that got her a place at the University of Warwick, or skip straight to her feedback to learn what made her personal statement a success!
Please be aware that these examples are meant purely for the sake of inspiration, and should absolutely NOT be used as a model around which to base your own personal statement. UCAS have a rather strict system that detects plagiarism.
Warwick Medicine Personal Statement Example
WHOLE PERSONAL STATEMENT
Whilst exploring the area of transplantation in biology, I opted to do an EPQ on the subject and managed to organise work experience shadowing an anaesthetist. I watched various procedures including a tumour resection from the abdomen. I was impressed with how the multidisciplinary teams worked together and how the different departments combined to provide quality patient care from admission until discharge. However, I did become aware of the number of cancelled elective operations; it was a shock to see the number of patients turned away due to shortages. This showed the importance of not only good medical care but time management and the ability to work under the pressures of an under-resourced NHS.
Alongside A levels, I volunteered at a school for children with additional needs, studying for their GCSEs. With some patience and clear communication, I was pleasantly surprised how rewarding it was to help them understand maths and see them progress. In my gap year, I shadowed a consultant psychiatrist diagnosing and treating hospital in-patients. Having read ‘We are our brains’ by Dick Swaab, I had a better understanding of the impact and causes of different neurological disorders, such as dementia. Spending time in these settings reinforced my desire to study medicine and taught me the value of empathy.
During my degree, I have enjoyed learning about disease, diagnostics and therapeutics, as well as genetics and cellular biology. In anatomy I created a website featuring a 3D model of the heart with augmented reality, showing how prosthetic heart valves can be used as a treatment for stenosis. I was also challenged to carry out an RCT, choosing to focus on the link between mobile devices used by healthcare workers and hospital-acquired infections and, more specifically, examining the efficacy of disinfectant wipes on removing bacteria from mobile phones. Through this I learnt not only how to synthesise information and use statistical software, but how to collaborate effectively as a group. To further improve my critical analysis, I opted to volunteer on a summer research project, where I was invited to co-author a paper regarding the failure of psychological and behavioural interventions for children. This improved my ability to critically appraise scientific literature and understand what can be learnt from ‘failed’ interventions.
Last summer, I volunteered at a care home and saw first-hand the effects of Parkinson’s, a disease I had studied previously. During this period, I observed a resident struggling to walk during the ‘freezes’ in which she could not seem to initiate movement and I could sense her frustration when struggling to control her dyskinesia. I shadowed a GP later that week, which demonstrated the diversity of daily work and how within a short space of time, the ability to problem solve, diagnose and treat is needed. The week finished with visiting a care home, I saw how end of life care was provided and although very sad, it gave me an understanding of the impact this part of the care process has on the patient and their relatives.
Outside of my studies, I have been involved in athletics for six years, both competing and coaching. I was recently elected track and field captain for the university club which involves organising teams and competitions, as well as arranging weekly training sessions. Another hobby of mine is powerlifting, in which I recently finished third at the British University Championships and have taken on the role of women’s team captain. Additionally, achieving a martial art black belt gave me a good foundation for both physical and mental strength. These experiences have enhanced my leadership, teamwork and confidence, essential skills when working in healthcare. Working as a fitness advisor allows me to show people how exercise can improve wellbeing and I would like to follow a career path where I can continue to use my knowledge of health and disease to improve others’ quality of life.
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Warwick Medicine Personal Statement Example Analysis
Now, let’s go section by section and see what Laura has to say about what she wrote:
INTRODUCTION
Whilst exploring the area of transplantation in biology, I opted to do an EPQ on the subject and managed to organise work experience shadowing an anaesthetist. I watched various procedures including a tumour resection from the abdomen. I was impressed with how the multidisciplinary teams worked together and how the different departments combined to provide quality patient care from admission until discharge. However, I did become aware of the number of cancelled elective operations; it was a shock to see the number of patients turned away due to shortages. This showed the importance of not only good medical care but time management and the ability to work under the pressures of an under-resourced NHS.
- THE GOOD
Introduction
The statement starts immediately with something that is unique about me and that I have physically done, setting me apart from other applicants. It also shows that I had an early interest in the subject. Of course, buzzwords like “multidisciplinary” are good to include, but I was able to include them with an actual purpose instead of just being hollow. Addressing the honest truths of medicine is also a good idea, like I had done when talking about canceled elective operations. It shows that you are looking at the industry realistically, without rose-tinted glasses.
- THE BAD
Introduction
However, I think I could have started with something more “impressive”- i.e. something related to my previous degree as in theory they could judge the whole statement off of this. My EPQ, whilst showing an early interest, is something that many other applicants will have. In addition, it may have been a better idea to go a bit further into my past and discussing where my interest first developed. It’s something that most applicants do, so it could seen as a bit generic, but it’s a great way to showing what kind of medical student you are by looking honestly at your origins.
MAIN BODY
Paragraph 1
Alongside A levels, I volunteered at a school for children with additional needs, studying for their GCSEs. With some patience and clear communication, I was pleasantly surprised how rewarding it was to help them understand maths and see them progress. In my gap year, I shadowed a consultant psychiatrist diagnosing and treating hospital in-patients. Having read ‘We are our brains’ by Dick Swaab, I had a better understanding of the impact and causes of different neurological disorders, such as dementia. Spending time in these settings reinforced my desire to study medicine and taught me the value of empathy.
- THE GOOD
Paragraph 1
This paragraph clearly links together multiple strengths of my application including work experience, volunteering and independent reading into a topic I have a particular interest in. This helps it to flow and make it unique, as many applicants will write in a certain order and separate each of these into their own paragraph. By demonstrating that you understand the links between everything, you are proving that you gain much more from your experiences than what is simply stated on the page.
- THE BAD
Paragraph 1
It’s not perfect though. I could have gone into more detail reflecting on the work experience I took part in, for example explaining exactly what I learnt about psychiatry and how I felt about the experience. This is challenging to keep within the limit, so my advice would be to try and keep the word count proportional between your most important experiences, so you avoid under-developing one while dragging out another.
MAIN BODY
Paragraph 2
During my degree, I have enjoyed learning about disease, diagnostics and therapeutics, as well as genetics and cellular biology. In anatomy I created a website featuring a 3D model of the heart with augmented reality, showing how prosthetic heart valves can be used as a treatment for stenosis. I was also challenged to carry out an RCT, choosing to focus on the link between mobile devices used by healthcare workers and hospital-acquired infections and, more specifically, examining the efficacy of disinfectant wipes on removing bacteria from mobile phones. Through this I learnt not only how to synthesise information and use statistical software, but how to collaborate effectively as a group. To further improve my critical analysis, I opted to volunteer on a summer research project, where I was invited to co-author a paper regarding the failure of psychological and behavioural interventions for children. This improved my ability to critically appraise scientific literature and understand what can be learnt from ‘failed’ interventions.
- THE GOOD
Paragraph 2
I think this paragraph had a lot of unique experiences packed into it which, like I have said previously, sets me apart from other applicants. It also shows how diverse the skill set I have is and providing evidence for this while fully explaining my personal role. You do need to be careful about balancing quality and quantity, but in my case I believe I’ve handled this well. Some areas are more explored than others, which is perfectly fine to do. I said before to make things proportionate, but that’s only with the most important talking points; smaller experiences are worth mentioning too but don’t need to be fully explored if you can summarise it in one or two sentences.
- THE BAD
Paragraph 2
This paragraph has quite a big focus on research skills which I could’ve spoken about in more detail, as well as exploring why this is good for medicine. It’s not obviously clear why this would be very helpful when compared to the clinical experience. I could also have added a small explanation of how some of my skills had been improved through my experiences, such as when I mention my critical appraisal skills.
MAIN BODY
Paragraph 3
Last summer, I volunteered at a care home and saw first-hand the effects of Parkinson’s, a disease I had studied previously. During this period, I observed a resident struggling to walk during the ‘freezes’ in which she could not seem to initiate movement and I could sense her frustration when struggling to control her dyskinesia. I shadowed a GP later that week, which demonstrated the diversity of daily work and how within a short space of time, the ability to problem solve, diagnose and treat is needed. The week finished with visiting a care home, I saw how end of life care was provided and although very sad, it gave me an understanding of the impact this part of the care process has on the patient and their relatives.
- THE GOOD
Paragraph 3
I think I did a good job reflecting upon this voluntary work and specifically speaking about the patient experience and how this relates to the job of a GP/elderly care consultant. I was able to really explain how this is important to see and practice talking about to demonstrate empathy and communication. This also links back to discussion of multidisciplinary teams and shows my desire to have varied skills.
- THE BAD
Paragraph 3
Perhaps I could have related the sentences within the paragraph to flow into each other more, as it just seems like a recount of the week rather than explaining the deeper impact that it had as a whole. For example, I could have explained that as a GP, the diversity of work means you need experience in many skills, while expanding that it won’t just be diagnostics- it will involve communication skills with people from all walks of life. While the person reading this likely already knows that, it’s good to demonstrate that you’re aware of requirements in good medical workers.
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CONCLUSION
Outside of my studies, I have been involved in athletics for six years, both competing and coaching. I was recently elected track and field captain for the university club which involves organising teams and competitions, as well as arranging weekly training sessions. Another hobby of mine is powerlifting, in which I recently finished third at the British University Championships and have taken on the role of women’s team captain. Additionally, achieving a martial art black belt gave me a good foundation for both physical and mental strength. These experiences have enhanced my leadership, teamwork and confidence, essential skills when working in healthcare. Working as a fitness advisor allows me to show people how exercise can improve wellbeing and I would like to follow a career path where I can continue to use my knowledge of health and disease to improve others’ quality of life.
- THE GOOD
Conclusion
As the concluding paragraph to the personal statement, this paragraph displays the range of extracurricular activities I had been involved with and outlines not only all the skills they require but why this would make me a good student and doctor and that I have other interests/outlets for stress. This is always important to include, especially when you effectively discuss how the skills from these activities carry over to medicine.
- THE BAD
Conclusion
I’d say this is the weakest of the paragraphs however. It reads a bit like a list so I potentially could’ve re-written this to flow better and less like I am trying to fit all of my experiences into two- three sentences, although this is challenging! The most important thing I missed here though is to link it back to medicine in a meaningful way, instead describing everything mentioned in a fairly broad way. Although difficult to achieve in the word count, you should try to explain how each example has impacted you individually, as it’s unlikely that everything mentioned has had the exact effect. Sometimes it’s the mindset you display that is more important for the reader rather than actual achievements.
But the biggest issue I have with this paragraph is it’s abrupt ending. While a personal statement’s conclusion shouldn’t have a tonne of words describing everything you’ve just discussed, it’s still important to tie everything together into one statement that exemplifies why you should be given a spot at this university. If you’ve run out of words, then go back and trim some fat from the rest of your writing, because ending it on a high note is essential for a top-quality personal statement.
Final Thoughts
- THE GOOD
Overall
The biggest strength of my statement is the diversity of experiences I included throughout the previous few years, including reflecting on multiple work experience’s, volunteering and extracurricular activities, as well as explaining why that would make me a great student and doctor in the long run.
Granted, the diversity itself isn’t so much a strength of the personal statement but of myself as an applicant, as I was the one to actually go out and learn from these things. However, when writing your personal statement, it’s important to make the most out of any experience you have, no matter how much or how little. The experiences themselves are only as valuable as what you had taken away from them.
- THE BAD
Overall
I think the biggest area for improvement would be the flow and writing style. Although there’s lots of great experiences in there I think it lacks the ‘wow’ factor and could do with some re-arranging and restructuring of sentences to make it a more stimulating read. Including the most impressive parts at the start and end might have helped this stay in the mind of the reader. On top of this, I could have done a much better job of tying all of these experiences together in relation to both medicine and myself as an applicant, especially with the introduction and conclusion.
So there you have it! This personal statement helped Laura get a place at Warwick Medical School! Everyone has different experiences and abilities, so you may not be able to relate to everything that was said in this personal statement. However, the information and advice provided by Laura is universal and will help any applicant write a better personal statement!
Be sure to check out more Medicine Personal Statement Analyses to see advice from all different kinds of applicants, including Ali Abdaal himself! Or if you want to get started on your own statement, check out 6med’s Personal Statement Bundle for all the support and resources you’ll ever need! If you want full support on every part of your application and a guaranteed place at med school, the Complete Bundle will be perfect for you.
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