Welcome to our collection of Medicine Personal Statement Examples! We’ve searched far and wide to find personal statements from successful applicants all around the UK and asked them to analyse the strengths and weaknesses of their work for your own inspiration. Today’s subject is from Annie, who studies Medicine at the University of Cambridge.
Annie applied for Medicine during the 2021 admissions cycle at some of the major medical schools in the UK. From these, she received offers from Newcastle University and the University of Cambridge, of which she chose Cambridge.
| University | University of Cambridge | Newcastle University | University College London | University of Edinburgh |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Offer? | Yes | Yes |
Let’s read the personal statement that got her a place at the University of Cambridge, or skip straight to her feedback to learn what made her personal statement a success!
(Please note that Annie has omitted a couple of segments in order to protect her privacy)
Please be aware that these examples are meant purely for the sake of inspiration, and should absolutely NOT be used as a model around which to base your own personal statement. UCAS have a rather strict system that detects plagiarism.
Cambridge Medicine Personal Statement Example
WHOLE PERSONAL STATEMENT
[OMITTED] I realised how a doctor impacts both physical health and quality of life, using adaptable skills, precise questioning and observations. I saw that the initial diagnosis and treatment were just the start of a holistic relationship between the doctor and patient. The NHS’ sense of duty, dedication to patients and commitment to care in the pandemic inspire me. I’m aware of the issues surrounding funding, PPE and staff shortages, antibiotic resistance and an aging population, but these challenges motivate me to become a part of the team working to face them, just as my own health problems did.
This led me to Mini Medical School, where I was struck by the difficulty in distinguishing between tonsillitis, glandular fever or a sore throat, resulting in the overuse of antibiotics. A PHEM doctor explained how cutting open the pericardium at a stabbing allowed blood to escape so the heart had room to beat again. The RCS’ talk then examined the wider consequences of knife crime from police, doctor, and familial perspectives. The Medical Stuff podcast, by American paramedics, stressed keeping up with developments, such as altering the use of the spine board.
With a growing interest in Chemistry and Biology, I was excited to build on my prior
knowledge and understand how the complexity of organic molecules links to intermolecular bond formation. “The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks” inspired me to think about the role of ethics in Biology and medicine. Ethical debate stimulates me: I reached the regional heat of a magistrates’ mock trial competition. I enjoy making links in understanding, for instance the way in which high blood pressure causes excess tissue fluid production, causing tissue swelling. My EPQ then allowed me to explore mosquito-transmitted diseases, leading me to research in the NCBI and BMJ; discovering Artemisinin, an effective antimalarial drug, gave me a taste of the original finding. My interest in my subjects is reflected in my achievements: winning Gold in the Intermediate Biology Olympiad and a team 2nd place finish in the local RSC Top of the Bench and STMC competitions. My advanced Maths, as evidenced by Gold awards in the UK Maths Challenges up to Intermediate level, and qualification for their summer school, gave me scenarios in which to apply my problem-solving skills.
As a Level 1 coach at a local badminton club, I lead warm-ups and sessions, as well as
helping at county and national tournaments; I recently won the [OMITTED] award. l love to watch players improve through observing and offering corrections; these skills would be invaluable in medicine, not only in diagnosis but also patient care. My work with children (some with SEN) has taught me how to communicate flexibly; this skill would be honed in paediatrics, where I was offered a placement before the pandemic. As a player, I am currently ranked [OMITTED] nationally in singles, and look forward to playing at university to let off steam. Sport has not only emphasised the importance of astute judgement and resilience, it has taught me how to train efficiently, perform under pressure and maximise team performance, as has DofE and NCS. World Challenge let me experience another culture in Borneo, furthering my ease with people from diverse backgrounds: vital on a multicultural ward with patients’ differing upbringings and consequent cultural behaviour, something which I am well aware of as a fluent Mandarin speaker.
Crucially, I have the capacity for hard work, the intellectual curiosity, and the determination needed to succeed. I am convinced that in medicine I will be able to apply my knowledge differentially, continue my scientific learning, and engage with people at the most profound level, making a significant difference to society as well as impacting upon the human condition for the better.
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Cambridge Medicine Personal Statement Example Analysis
Now, let’s go section by section and see what Annie has to say about what she wrote:
INTRODUCTION
[OMITTED] I realised how a doctor impacts both physical health and quality of life, using adaptable skills, precise questioning and observations. I saw that the initial diagnosis and treatment were just the start of a holistic relationship between the doctor and patient. The NHS’ sense of duty, dedication to patients and commitment to care in the pandemic inspire me. I’m aware of the issues surrounding funding, PPE and staff shortages, antibiotic resistance and an aging population, but these challenges motivate me to become a part of the team working to face them, just as my own health problems did.
- THE GOOD
Introduction
I have covered up my introductory sentence as I feel it covers a rather personal subject, but it starts off my personal statement by discussing aspects of healthcare that are personal to me. This immediately offers the admissions tutor some information about myself and why I might be interested in medicine, while also offering an interesting and personal opening line that avoids being generic.
I was then able to link this to my developing understanding of how the NHS works, and the problems that doctors, as well as the NHS as a whole, face. I was also able to link in some more topical content, such as the Covid-19 pandemic, as we were still coming in and out of lockdowns at the time. With all this, it sets me up as an applicant who is thoroughly interested in medicine and very aware of the world surrounding it.
- THE BAD
Introduction
I feel the flow of the introduction is quite choppy and only covers information superficially – however, when working to a strict character limit, this is quite difficult to overcome unless significant sections of the personal statement get cut out. My suggestion for improvement here would be to make it more concise and deal with specific topics later on in the main part of the statement. As it is, it’s less of an introduction and more of just a first paragraph. Coming straight out of the gate like this may not be as impressive as I initially thought.
MAIN BODY
Paragraph 1
This led me to Mini Medical School, where I was struck by the difficulty in distinguishing between tonsillitis, glandular fever or a sore throat, resulting in the overuse of antibiotics. A PHEM doctor explained how cutting open the pericardium at a stabbing allowed blood to escape so the heart had room to beat again. The RCS’ talk then examined the wider consequences of knife crime from police, doctor, and familial perspectives. The Medical Stuff podcast, by American paramedics, stressed keeping up with developments, such as altering the use of the spine board.
- THE GOOD
Paragraph 1
This paragraph contains an anecdote about two activities I took part in outside of school (Mini Medical School and a talk on knife crime by the RCSEd) which helped me further my understanding of medicine as a career. It also demonstrates that I have independently sought out more information about medicine, which helps you appear as an interested and driven candidate. Initiative is one of the best qualities of both a good doctor and a good medical student! I also mentioned a podcast I was listening to at the time which demonstrates some degree of dedication to learning about medicine over time, rather than a one-off event.
- THE BAD
Paragraph 1
I feel the section lacks detail and covered things superficially, but this can act as a springboard for interviewers to ask you about your personal statement or alternatively, give you an idea of what to mention in your interview (as not all interviewers will look at your personal statement).
The big thing missing here is a discussion of my work experience. If my work experience placement hadn’t been cancelled due to the pandemic, I feel this would have been the leading experience to discuss here. I would have briefly described what I did and then follow up with a reflection of what I learnt and how it had helped me develop as a medical professional. Losing out on this experience was a big blow to my application, but this is not the fault of the personal statement itself. I tried my best to fill the gap with something just as interesting, but the lack of work experience does leave something to be desired. Hopefully, future applicants won’t have to face a medical emergency on this level.
MAIN BODY
Paragraph 2
With a growing interest in Chemistry and Biology, I was excited to build on my prior knowledge and understand how the complexity of organic molecules links to intermolecular bond formation. “The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks” inspired me to think about the role of ethics in Biology and medicine. Ethical debate stimulates me: I reached the regional heat of a magistrates’ mock trial competition. I enjoy making links in understanding, for instance the way in which high blood pressure causes excess tissue fluid production, causing tissue swelling. My EPQ then allowed me to explore mosquito-transmitted diseases, leading me to research in the NCBI and BMJ; discovering Artemisinin, an effective antimalarial drug, gave me a taste of the original finding. My interest in my subjects is reflected in my achievements: winning Gold in the Intermediate Biology Olympiad and a team 2nd place finish in the local RSC Top of the Bench and STMC competitions. My advanced Maths, as evidenced by Gold awards in the UK Maths Challenges up to Intermediate level, and qualification for their summer school, gave me scenarios in which to apply my problem-solving skills.
- THE GOOD
Paragraph 2
This is a large paragraph detailing some of my academic pursuits, a very important topic to cover especially considering my circumstances. I began by mentioning an element of my A-level studies that interested me, then briefly brought up a book relating to medical ethics I had read recently which had especially impressed upon me the importance of medical ethics and the lasting legacy of unethical medicine in our recent past.
I was then able to link this to some debating activities that I had undertaken during secondary school to demonstrate quick thinking and problem-solving skills, as well as public speaking skills – all of which are relevant to jobs in healthcare where you might be expected to speak to many new and unfamiliar patients daily. I was then able to link in my EPQ, which I had completed with a more public health view than a more strictly academic view, on the future of tackling mosquito-transmitted diseases. Finally, I mentioned some awards I had won outside of GCSEs and A levels for academic achievement. This is all highly desirable content that an admissions team would expect to see from a quality applicant.
- THE BAD
Paragraph 2
Once again, this paragraph feels highly disjointed, with each sentence feeling like it is not especially relevant to the preceding one. I think it would be improved by rearranging the structure so that it flows much more smoothly, with the super curricular activities in one part of the paragraph, or even in a paragraph of their own, or linked to the first paragraph which also mentions super curricular activities. This is an issue of both structure and writing techniques, so it is important that you review these elements regularly to ensure you are writing in a way that is easy to read.
MAIN BODY
Paragraph 3
As a Level 1 coach at a local badminton club, I lead warm-ups and sessions, as well as helping at county and national tournaments; I recently won the [OMITTED] award. l love to watch players improve through observing and offering corrections; these skills would be invaluable in medicine, not only in diagnosis but also patient care. My work with children (some with SEN) has taught me how to communicate flexibly; this skill would be honed in paediatrics, where I was offered a placement before the pandemic. As a player, I am currently ranked [OMITTED] nationally in singles, and look forward to playing at university to let off steam. Sport has not only emphasised the importance of astute judgement and resilience, it has taught me how to train efficiently, perform under pressure and maximise team performance, as has DofE and NCS. World Challenge let me experience another culture in Borneo, furthering my ease with people from diverse backgrounds: vital on a multicultural ward with patients’ differing upbringings and consequent cultural behaviour, something which I am well aware of as a fluent Mandarin speaker.
- THE GOOD
Paragraph 3
(I have covered up some identifying information). This paragraph is more centred on my extracurricular activities which are not directly related to medicine but demonstrate my depth as a person. They also contain transferrable skills which would be immensely helpful to a doctor with regards to patient care and bedside manner etc. It also helps demonstrate that while I would make a strong student (as hopefully evidenced by the preceding sections) I would also make a well-rounded student and contribute to university life, reducing the risk of burnout as I have established activities outside of medicine which also demonstrate dedication and resilience.
The line “and look forward to playing at university to let off steam” is a fun little addition that shows my confidence in my application.
- THE BAD
Paragraph 3
While extracurriculars are great for rounding off your application, some universities (especially Oxbridge) place less importance on extracurriculars and much more emphasis on super curriculars so this may depend on which universities you apply to. However, I feel that it would be better to cut this paragraph down a bit to place more emphasis on the super curricular activities. On the other hand, it also demonstrates a lot of key transferrable skills that medical schools tend to look for in applicants. My discussion of these skills and how they link to medicine could have been deeper though, especially considering how large the paragraph is.
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CONCLUSION
Crucially, I have the capacity for hard work, the intellectual curiosity, and the determination needed to succeed. I am convinced that in medicine I will be able to apply my knowledge differentially, continue my scientific learning, and engage with people at the most profound level, making a significant difference to society as well as impacting upon the human condition for the better.
- THE GOOD
Conclusion
I offer a summary of the skills I feel I have acquired which are most relevant to medicine and I have kept the conclusion quite short and snappy, leaving the admissions tutor with a quick end and hopefully a positive lasting impression. It functions exactly as a good conclusion should, tying everything together and providing a short explanation of why I would make a good candidate.
- THE BAD
Conclusion
The problem with making a conclusion that functions exactly as it should is that it can become a little generic, something that could be applied to any applicant. However, if you have made yourself unique in the majority of your personal statement this may be acceptable, as you hopefully will already have left an impression on the admission tutor. The conclusion isn’t there to add anything new to the discussion but simply to reaffirm everything else you’ve written, so you need to make sure it’s technically sound and makes sense to have this impact.
Final Thoughts
- THE GOOD
Overall
I believe this personal statement succeeds because of all of the following:
– It mentions a wide variety of activities, both short-term and long-term, to demonstrate dedication and resilience (this is important as medicine is both a difficult and a long course).
– It offers personal anecdotes and experiences, which will help you stand out as an applicant and not appear generic (this is important as admissions tutors may read many personal statements).
– It covers both extracurricular and super curricular activities and mentioned briefly how each is relevant to the study of medicine.
– It discusses some activities outside of academia to demonstrate that I am a well-rounded applicant and also offers ways in which I may contribute to university life (although this is less important than the other parts of the application).
- THE BAD
Overall
I believe the personal statement has issues in these areas:
– There are areas where it is quite choppy and does not flow well (it should have been restructured to flow more clearly and make it easier to read)
– It is incredibly difficult to pander to both Oxbridge (very focused on academia) and other universities (who may be less focused on academia and more interested in transferable skills, for example)
– There are some areas which are a little informal so the register is not the most suitable for a personal statement
At the risk of making excuses for myself, I do feel that the biggest issue here is the lack of work experience. In a typical medical personal statement, discussions of work experiences will be one of the primary focal points with the main body, as it demonstrates dedication, applicable skills and gives you a chance to reflect on the qualities you learnt during your time working. My lack of work experience here is certainly justifiable given the circumstances, but the statement does feel like it’s missing something without it. With that being said, I feel I did the best I could to make up for its absence, which was certainly good enough to get me an offer from my top choice of university!
So there you have it! This personal statement helped Annie get 2/4 offers in her application, including one from the highest-ranked medical school in the UK!
Everyone has different experiences and abilities, so you may not be able to relate to everything that was said in this personal statement. However, the information and advice provided by Annie is universal and will help any applicant write a better personal statement!
Be sure to check out more Medicine Personal Statement Analyses to see advice from all different kinds of applicants, including Ali Abdaal himself, who also attended Cambridge! Or if you want to get started on your own statement, check out 6med’s Personal Statement Bundle for all the support and resources you’ll ever need! If you want full support on every part of your application and a guaranteed place at med school, the Complete Bundle will be perfect for you.
More Medicine Personal Statement Examples & Inspiration
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