Welcome to our collection of Medicine Personal Statement Examples! We’ve searched far and wide to find personal statements from successful applicants all around the UK and asked them to analyse the strengths and weaknesses of their work for your own inspiration. Today’s subject is from Faraz, who studies Medicine at the University of Bristol.
Faraz applied for medicine in 2020 at four high-quality universities in the UK, all of which gave him an offer. Between them, he had chosen to study at the University of Bristol!
| University | University of Bristol | University of Birmingham | University of Leicester | University of Exeter |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Offer? | Yes | Yes | Yes | Yes |
Let’s read the personal statement that got him a place at Bristol, or skip straight to his feedback to learn what made his personal statement a success!
Please be aware that these examples are meant purely for the sake of inspiration, and should absolutely NOT be used as a model around which to base your own personal statement. UCAS have a rather strict system that detects plagiarism.
University of Bristol Medicine Personal Statement Example
WHOLE PERSONAL STATEMENT
For most people health is a very important aspect of their lives. For me, being a doctor will give me an ideal opportunity to apply my mind in a field I enjoy, diagnose patients, and determine the best way to treat them.
During secondary school I loved science- my ability and interest developed thereafter. It was during this period that I was intrigued with human physiology and a desire to treat patients whose physiology is impaired. Whilst studying Biology at A-Level, I was astounded at how organs work together to perform the various functions of the human body. A lecture on cancer treatment taught me about different types of cancer and their cure rates and inspired me to do further research into the subject.
Spending my life in either the UK or the UAE has given me the opportunity to interact with people of different customs and traditions. This experience, together with being bilingual, has helped me to communicate with people of different cultural and social backgrounds.
I have experienced how diverse a medical career can be; not just prescribing medicines or performing surgery but also how to be empathetic and compassionate whilst delivering effective care. This was emphasised during my week of work experience at my local hospital. I had the opportunity to take part in numerous tasks such as pre-clinical assessments and ward rounds. By listening to each patient’s needs and concerns and taking notes on their specific available treatment options, I recognised that there is more to each patient than just a diagnosis. Having also observed MDT meetings, I was able to appreciate the input various teams had in patient care and the value of collaboration within the NHS.
Another fascinating experience for me was observing CT scans when a neurologist discovered the reasons behind a patient’s seizures. I had the opportunity to work with junior doctors who were responsible for conducting nervous stimulations on patients to diagnose diseases. I left the hospital with a great medical interest which further cemented my wish to pursue medicine.
While working in a care home, I was able to interact with the residents, learning the importance of a friendly nature and good communication skills. I realised how important holistic care is for patients who may have CHD and polypharmacy which are more prevalent in the elderly. While there, I also completed a workshop which gave me an insight into how memory loss affects a person physically and emotionally, thereby making me a member of the ‘Dementia Friends’ society.
Attending a medical conference, I had the opportunity to speak to medical professionals who advised me that whilst Medicine is challenging, it is personally satisfying and rewarding. I joined my school’s medical society and read articles from the GMC on ethical guidance to gain an extra dimension of good medical practice. I also attended a 12 week “First-Aid at Work” course at school.
I also have additional responsibility as my school’s technical director to manage events such as music and drama shows and have been elected as House Official to manage my house’s media and communication. This is more challenging now as all events are being held virtually due to Covid-19 restrictions. I am also working to complete my Gold DofE. This has taught me that I enjoy personal responsibility and strive hard to achieve my goals. I also did the National Citizen Service which helped me to build my self-confidence amongst people I had not met before and develop strong team working skills. I enjoy playing badminton and have acquired my green belt in karate. These activities help me to relax and unwind.
I am aware of the challenges associated with a medical career such as long shifts and work-life balance. However, I would relish the opportunity to make use of my medical knowledge acquired from university to help improve the life of vulnerable patients and achieve my career goal of becoming a doctor.
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University of Bristol Medicine Personal Statement Example Analysis
Now, let’s go section by section and see what Faraz has to say about what he wrote:
INTRODUCTION
For most people health is a very important aspect of their lives. For me, being a doctor will give me an ideal opportunity to apply my mind in a field I enjoy, diagnose patients, and determine the best way to treat them.
- THE GOOD
Introduction
This introduction talks about various important topics in regard to my application, including how health is a detrimental factor in all lives rather than just my own and how I have chosen a career path that is applicable to my mindset and the way I want to achieve my goals. It is also direct, upfront and gets straight to the point, which is a desirable quality for any personal statement introduction. It’s short, but it sums up why I am even applying for this course to begin with and sets the stage for more detailed discussions to follow.
- THE BAD
Introduction
I feel that I could have made it slightly more concise rather than writing three sentences. I could have also started with something more relevant and specific to the current time writing about what inspired me currently to do medicine and not throughout my life. Discussing personal history can be good when you have particularly interesting or relevant experience to discuss, but my discussion is very generic and would have benefitted from relating more to a specific point about myself or my experience.
MAIN BODY
Section 1
During secondary school I loved science- my ability and interest developed thereafter. It was during this period that I was intrigued with human physiology and a desire to treat patients whose physiology is impaired. Whilst studying Biology at A-Level, I was astounded at how organs work together to perform the various functions of the human body. A lecture on cancer treatment taught me about different types of cancer and their cure rates and inspired me to do further research into the subject.
Spending my life in either the UK or the UAE has given me the opportunity to interact with people of different customs and traditions. This experience, together with being bilingual, has helped me to communicate with people of different cultural and social backgrounds.
- THE GOOD
Section 1
The first paragraph fits the purpose of displaying my motivation and intent of studying medicine, which in my case is because of my love of science. I display my various experiences during this time in a way that shows how the time helped me develop into the person I am now while also showing my understanding of the topic in subtle ways. In the second paragraph, I take some time to discuss the cultural aspects of history and how they have helped me become a more well-rounded person. The takeaway from this about my communication skills demonstrates a skill that is extremely important to becoming a doctor.
- THE BAD
Section 1
Overall, I believe this part of the personal statement is too long and not as impactful as I would like it to have been. Everything discussed in the first paragraph is generally quite unimpressive, as pretty much every applicant will have gone through some form of secondary school studying science. Different people will have different interests in the field of medicine, whether it’s the scientific side or the human side, but this much space is not required to state where my interests lie. Overall, it’s just not a good use of the limited word count. In the second paragraph, I should have linked this experience closer to medicine. I have explained how I have developed my communication skills, but I should have explained more how this would specifically help me in medicine.
MAIN BODY
Section 2
I have experienced how diverse a medical career can be; not just prescribing medicines or performing surgery but also how to be empathetic and compassionate whilst delivering effective care. This was emphasised during my week of work experience at my local hospital. I had the opportunity to take part in numerous tasks such as pre-clinical assessments and ward rounds. By listening to each patient’s needs and concerns and taking notes on their specific available treatment options, I recognised that there is more to each patient than just a diagnosis. Having also observed MDT meetings, I was able to appreciate the input various teams had in patient care and the value of collaboration within the NHS.
Another fascinating experience for me was observing CT scans when a neurologist discovered the reasons behind a patient’s seizures. I had the opportunity to work with junior doctors who were responsible for conducting nervous stimulations on patients to diagnose diseases. I left the hospital with a great medical interest which further cemented my wish to pursue medicine.
- THE GOOD
Section 2
This is the biggest portion of my personal statement, my look at my work experience. This is naturally going to be one of the most important parts of my personal statement, and I feel I explained myself very well. I decided that I would focus on showing my wide knowledge of all aspects of medicine here by using my work experience to describe an example and skills learnt in relation to medicine. I then used my other work experience to show the emotional side of medicine and that aspect of care. This was important to do in order to balance out my writing somewhat, as I have mainly discussed the scientific side of medicine so far. These two aspects of medicine hold equal importance, so you can’t let one side go ignored if you have a stronger interest in the other.
- THE BAD
Section 2
Although I am very reflective of the lessons I learned during these work experiences, I could have mentioned personally how I felt during the actual placement from either a professional or emotional way. This would have allowed me to better show that I did understand the hardships of medicine and the determination that a good medical professional has to show. I was also a bit too vague in some places, such as where I state “I left the hospital with a great medical interest”. This statement does not have any value as I surely should already have had a great medical interest, otherwise I wouldn’t have been doing work experience! Overall I include a lot of information, but I perhaps should have reprioritised where I discussed thing in detail to focus more on personal reflection.
MAIN BODY
Section 3
While working in a care home, I was able to interact with the residents, learning the importance of a friendly nature and good communication skills. I realised how important holistic care is for patients who may have CHD and polypharmacy which are more prevalent in the elderly. While there, I also completed a workshop which gave me an insight into how memory loss affects a person physically and emotionally, thereby making me a member of the ‘Dementia Friends’ society.
- THE GOOD
Section 3
Voluntary work is an important thing to discuss, even if the amount of direct medical experience gained from it it is minimal. Working at a care home has many areas that link to medicine without directly involving complicated medicine, whether it be through physical care or helping emotionally support venerable individuals. I try to link these aspects of care in with this paragraph in order to show how the experience has helped me as an applicant.
- THE BAD
Section 3
I perhaps neglected the human side of this topic somewhat to instead focus on scientific aspects that are not as relevant to this type of work experience. I could have left out terms like CHD and polypharmacy which would be obvious to medical professionals that patients of this age category are likely to suffer from these conditions. It’s also not something that directly impacted my experience in any particular way other than the need to ensure the person’s safety. Overall, it doesn’t add much value to the statement and makes it seem as if I have less of the emotional skills required by good doctors.
MAIN BODY
Section 4
Attending a medical conference, I had the opportunity to speak to medical professionals who advised me that whilst Medicine is challenging, it is personally satisfying and rewarding. I joined my school’s medical society and read articles from the GMC on ethical guidance to gain an extra dimension of good medical practice. I also attended a 12 week “First-Aid at Work” course at school.
I also have additional responsibility as my school’s technical director to manage events such as music and drama shows and have been elected as House Official to manage my house’s media and communication. This is more challenging now as all events are being held virtually due to Covid-19 restrictions. I am also working to complete my Gold DofE. This has taught me that I enjoy personal responsibility and strive hard to achieve my goals. I also did the National Citizen Service which helped me to build my self-confidence amongst people I had not met before and develop strong team working skills. I enjoy playing badminton and have acquired my green belt in karate. These activities help me to relax and unwind.
- THE GOOD
Section 4
These last two paragraphs go over a bunch of additional experiences and extra-curricular activities that I felt would be important to speak about. The first paragraph is especially relevant, as attending a conference like this is something that not too many medical students do. I also discuss various medicine-related activities and courses that have all helped me develop my skills as a medical professional.
After this is when I discuss my general extra-curricular activities, which is always important for demonstrating that you are a well-rounded individual and not just a talented applicant. These are all linked in with skills that are important for any doctor, be it management, communication or team skills. I have demonstrated how everything here makes me a better individual and a better applicant.
- THE BAD
Section 4
In the first paragraph, I have done very little to reflect on the things I learned during this experience. This is a big miss looking back at it, as these are things I learnt lots from. Not discussing these lessons in detail only shows that I have very little to say about them and thus did not learn much. These would have also been very unique things to talk more about, as not too many applicants have that experience.
Following on from this paragraph, I do begin to reflect on my activities more effectively, but I also do very little to link these things to medicine. Instead, I explain the more general skills that I learned from them. All the skills I mention are highly transferable to medicine, but it would have been a good idea to highlight that fact. The more you demonstrate your understanding of medicine and the qualities it requires, the better.
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CONCLUSION
I am aware of the challenges associated with a medical career such as long shifts and work-life balance. However, I would relish the opportunity to make use of my medical knowledge acquired from university to help improve the life of vulnerable patients and achieve my career goal of becoming a doctor.
- THE GOOD
Conclusion
This conclusion shows I truly understand the career path I have chosen and what I am going into. I understand the benefits, the risks and the challenges associated with medicine but despite this, I am willing, eager-minded and determined to continue with this. Having this level of awareness is important, but it’s even more important to demonstrate that you have this awareness. All of these things may seem obvious, especially since you’re writing to someone with much more experience than you, but the point is to show that you are fully aware of the sacrifices required to enter the industry.
- THE BAD
Conclusion
Considering what I have just said, this conclusion should have linked more to the rest of my personal statement, as it currently reads like I am trying to quickly explain this final point. I haven’t really mentioned risks of going into medicine anywhere else, so it almost gives the impression that I forgot to discuss them earlier. As an example for what I could have done better, I could have linked it to the start by talking about how my interactions and experiences in life have helped me decide that this is the ultimate career path for me and this is what I would like to do.
Final Thoughts
- THE GOOD
Overall
One thing I think is really important is my personal statement is personal. There is a good balance between what the university is expecting from me and what I have been happy, or even excited, to write about. It discusses my personal traits as well as the variety of work experiences I have done and the experiences that have personally had the most impact on me. This all adds to my eagerness and determination in choosing this career path and how it is fitting for me. I truly want to study medicine, and this personal statement explains why in my own words.
- THE BAD
Overall
I think the biggest areas of improvement would be to cut some parts short and know that the reader who is likely to be a medical professional or will have a good idea of the medical field will know some of the intricacies mentioned. While it’s important to show that you have a deep understanding of the subject, there are more effective ways of doing this than just explaining concepts and using technical terms. I mention various experiences that would have proven my scientific knowledge very well, but I didn’t go far enough in explaining them. A more detailed and personalised discussion of my wider reading would have helped display both my technical knowledge and ability to reflect on experiences.
So there you have it! This personal statement helped Faraz get all 4 offers from his application, which is the perfect position to be in.
Everyone has different experiences and abilities, so you may not be able to relate to everything that was said in this personal statement. However, the information and advice provided by Faraz is universal and will help any applicant write a better personal statement!
Be sure to check out more Medicine Personal Statement Analyses to see advice from all different kinds of applicants, including Ali Abdaal himself! Or if you want to get started on your own statement, check out 6med’s Personal Statement Bundle for all the support and resources you’ll ever need! If you want full support on every part of your application and a guaranteed place at med school, the Complete Bundle will be perfect for you.
More Medicine Personal Statement Examples & Inspiration
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