Welcome to our collection of Medicine Personal Statement Examples! We’ve searched far and wide to find personal statements from successful applicants all around the UK and asked them to analyse the strengths and weaknesses of their work for your own inspiration. Today’s subject is from Alexander, who studies Medicine at the University of Oxford.
Alexander applied to study medicine in 2014 at 4 of the best medical schools in the UK, including Edinburgh and Sheffield. In the end, he received offers from both University College London and the University of Oxford, of which he chose the latter and began his studies in 2015.
| University | University of Oxford | University College London | University of Sheffield | University of Edinburgh |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Offer? | Yes | Yes |
Let’s read the personal statement that got him a place at Oxford, or skip straight to his feedback to learn what made his personal statement a success!
Please be aware that these examples are meant purely for the sake of inspiration, and should absolutely NOT be used as a model around which to base your own personal statement. UCAS have a rather strict system that detects plagiarism.
University of Oxford Medicine Personal Statement Example
WHOLE PERSONAL STATEMENT
Life as a doctor is hard – long hours, demanding patients and a pressurised working environment. However you also have the tremendous privilege of helping people at their most vulnerable. This is what appeals to me about medicine.
I have always been interested in science and health and used to enjoy listening to my grandfather talking about his experiences as a family doctor at the birth of the NHS. My parents are pharmacists, so healthcare has always featured in family conversations. It made me think that medicine would be a challenging yet rewarding career.
Medicine reflects my academic interests. For instance, I am a keen follower of rugby and American Football and became intrigued by concussion. My EPQ allowed me to research the physiology of brain injuries, analyse scientific papers on the materials used in helmet construction and study the psychological impact of wearing helmets.
Taking part in the Chemistry Olympiad and Cambridge Chemistry Challenge really tested my understanding and ability to apply the principles of chemistry to new and unique situations such as drug manufacture. I was particularly interested in the complexity of the processes that create some of our most basic, yet fundamental drugs.
I am curious about medical research, so read ‘The Trouble with Medical Journals’ by former BMJ editor, Dr Richard Smith. It showed me how difficult it is to conduct studies that are wholly free from bias and conflicts of interest, and opened up an interesting debate about the role of pharmaceutical companies in funding clinical trials.
My work experience has given me a great insight into life as a doctor. I organised a placement in an orthopaedics department, where I closely observed the whole process from admission and surgery to after-care. I saw how important communication was in all aspects of the department: having clear, defined roles in theatre, and using the right language to guide scared patients through complex procedures. I also witnessed first-hand one of the main challenges facing a doctor – dealing with uncooperative patients, yet still achieving a good outcome.
My work as a volunteer at a dementia care home showed me some of the harsher realities of long-term illness and gave me a practical understanding of the effects of degenerative brain disease. I spent time talking to residents and keeping them company, including one who was a former matron. She could remember how to diagnose illnesses but could not remember when she last had a cup of tea. When I asked her about her time as a matron, she cried. I found this upsetting and it pushed me way out of my comfort zone. Initially I felt uncomfortable and did not know how to approach my time at the home. However I persevered and gained a new appreciation of the difficulties faced by both the elderly and those caring for them.
A doctor must keep calm and make good decisions under pressure. On my Gold DofE expedition, I used my problem-solving ability to navigate out of a dense forest using only contour lines. At times the group became frustrated and started to argue. I took responsibility to try and resolve these difficulties by suggesting solutions in a non-confrontational manner.
My passion outside work and college is cricket. I play as much as I can for several clubs and coach young people aged 4-15. I like the responsibility of influencing a young cricketer’s development. Coaching has enabled me to gain valuable experience in organising other people and become a better communicator. It can be frustrating, but worth it when you see how much they improve. I also help junior school children with their reading, which is richly rewarding but demands great patience.
In summary: I enjoy science. I can relate to people. I am resilient and would relish an environment of lifelong learning. A career in a caring profession like medicine would be stimulating, meaningful, and provide me with the best opportunities to apply my knowledge to benefit others.
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University of Oxford Medicine Personal Statement Example Analysis
Now, let’s go section by section and see what Alexander has to say about what he wrote:
INTRODUCTION
Life as a doctor is hard – long hours, demanding patients and a pressurised working environment. However you also have the tremendous privilege of helping people at their most vulnerable. This is what appeals to me about medicine.
I have always been interested in science and health and used to enjoy listening to my grandfather talking about his experiences as a family doctor at the birth of the NHS. My parents are pharmacists, so healthcare has always featured in family conversations. It made me think that medicine would be a challenging yet rewarding career.
- THE GOOD
Introduction
I wanted to keep this introduction very simple and straightforward, which I believe I did well. I didn’t waffle about any life-changing events that made me decide to study medicine overnight, I just focused on an honest appraisal of my background that led me to consider medicine. It’s very direct, but I feel admissions teams prefer honestly over trying to create a massively blown-up story about something that is actually pretty simple. It saves time and space that can be used to thoroughly discuss my experiences and skills later on.
- THE BAD
Introduction
‘Life as a doctor is hard’ does sound a little cliché and cringy when I read it back all these years later. I wanted to create a catchy opening but instead, it just feels like I’m either moaning or explaining medical work to a child. In the second part, emphasising the medical background I come from may come across as I’m only doing medicine because my family do it/want me to do it. It is certainly worth mentioning, but I barely discuss how living with medical professionals has helped me develop my own skills and interests.
Lastly, and this is a reoccurring issue, why did I split this into two paragraphs? They both link together, but splitting this section in half makes each part feel less significant than if I had left them as one.
MAIN BODY
Section 1
Medicine reflects my academic interests. For instance, I am a keen follower of rugby and American Football and became intrigued by concussion. My EPQ allowed me to research the physiology of brain injuries, analyse scientific papers on the materials used in helmet construction and study the psychological impact of wearing helmets.
Taking part in the Chemistry Olympiad and Cambridge Chemistry Challenge really tested my understanding and ability to apply the principles of chemistry to new and unique situations such as drug manufacture. I was particularly interested in the complexity of the processes that create some of our most basic, yet fundamental drugs.
I am curious about medical research, so read ‘The Trouble with Medical Journals’ by former BMJ editor, Dr Richard Smith. It showed me how difficult it is to conduct studies that are wholly free from bias and conflicts of interest, and opened up an interesting debate about the role of pharmaceutical companies in funding clinical trials.
- THE GOOD
Section 1
I start off the main part of my personal statement by discussing my academics. Here, I found ways to relate the extra things I’d done at sixth form (EPQ, Olympiad, Trouble with Medical Journals) to medical topics and reflected on how they had helped me become a good medicine applicant. Again I kept the things I gained from them very simple, being very clear about exactly what I did and not trying to stretch the truth. Although I am trying to sell myself, I didn’t want to over-exaggerate my accomplishments as many admissions teams can see right through insincerity. Detailing my additional research is also a great way of demonstrating my interest in medicine in a practical and applicable way, rather than just describing life experiences that inspired me.
- THE BAD
Section 1
Throughout these paragraphs, the writing sometimes comes across as a bit waffly, such as being intrigued by concussions because of rugby and American football. It’s a very random detail to mention and could have flowed more naturally into my EPQ. Instead of providing this surface-level information about myself, I could perhaps have given examples of what I’d learnt, although I did leave it slightly open to encourage interviewers to ask me about my EPQ at the interview. I do provide a better amount of depth when discussing the other topics here though.
As for the paragraphing issue, this section is a bit more justifiable as each paragraph does tackle a separate topic. However, paragraphs this small do make the content feel less important or in-depth.
MAIN BODY
Section 2
My work experience has given me a great insight into life as a doctor. I organised a placement in an orthopaedics department, where I closely observed the whole process from admission and surgery to after-care. I saw how important communication was in all aspects of the department: having clear, defined roles in theatre, and using the right language to guide scared patients through complex procedures. I also witnessed first-hand one of the main challenges facing a doctor – dealing with uncooperative patients, yet still achieving a good outcome.
My work as a volunteer at a dementia care home showed me some of the harsher realities of long-term illness and gave me a practical understanding of the effects of degenerative brain disease. I spent time talking to residents and keeping them company, including one who was a former matron. She could remember how to diagnose illnesses but could not remember when she last had a cup of tea. When I asked her about her time as a matron, she cried. I found this upsetting and it pushed me way out of my comfort zone. Initially I felt uncomfortable and did not know how to approach my time at the home. However I persevered and gained a new appreciation of the difficulties faced by both the elderly and those caring for them.
- THE GOOD
Section 2
This is my discussion of work experience and volunteering work. Here, I was clear that I organised my orthopaedic work experience and dementia home volunteering myself, not that it was arranged for me. This may seem like an odd thing to point out, but it definitely shows a level of confidence and initiative that some applicants do miss (it was especially important for me considering my medical background, it would be very easy for the reader to assume my parents sorted something for me).
Again, I didn’t over-exaggerate what I had done or learnt, I was very factual and let that speak for itself as I was confident it was good enough to be impressive. Even if it wasn’t the most impressive experience they had seen, the confidence in which I presented it gives it equal or greater value to work experience that has been dressed in over descriptive language.
Paragraph-wise, this is actually a section I handled correctly in my opinion.
- THE BAD
Section 2
Given how much I could have written about these two experiences, I unfortunately wasn’t as reflective as I should have been here. I had learned a lot from these experiences, but I only really discussed the surface-level skills I had learnt from them. There are many underlying lessons that I could have defiantly discussed in order to give this section a bit more power.
I was a bit nervous about including the time I made a person cry, and how difficult I initially found the care home, but overall I think that it was important to show awareness that I’m not yet a perfect doctor/person, but at least I have been able to see an improvement in myself from the experience. This is a tactic that could backfire if you’re not fully confident, but as long as you can explain yourself in the interview, you’ll come off as a stronger candidate because of it.
MAIN BODY
Section 3
A doctor must keep calm and make good decisions under pressure. On my Gold DofE expedition, I used my problem-solving ability to navigate out of a dense forest using only contour lines. At times the group became frustrated and started to argue. I took responsibility to try and resolve these difficulties by suggesting solutions in a non-confrontational manner.
- THE GOOD
Section 3
Here we have another pretty straightforward paragraph which only says what I myself did and doesn’t try and take too much credit. It ticks off some of the soft skills medical schools are looking for, again with examples that I could elaborate on further in the interview. The first sentence of this paragraph also serves to justify the inclusion of everything else I discuss here by linking everything back to medicine.
- THE BAD
Section 3
In reality, it’s a bit of a filler paragraph to try and show I’ve got some other skills they are after. Nothing here is as strong as what I previously discussed, although it’s really not expected to. I certainly don’t feel it’s a particularly strong or stand-out paragraph like the previous one, but it serves its purpose of demonstrating some additional skills.
MAIN BODY
Section 4
My passion outside work and college is cricket. I play as much as I can for several clubs and coach young people aged 4-15. I like the responsibility of influencing a young cricketer’s development. Coaching has enabled me to gain valuable experience in organising other people and become a better communicator. It can be frustrating, but worth it when you see how much they improve. I also help junior school children with their reading, which is richly rewarding but demands great patience.
- THE GOOD
Section 4
I think this paragraph works well, showing both my extra-curricular interest in cricket and also how I’ve turned my passion for it into something that helps others, which sounds like a decent analogy to medicine. The personal statement isn’t just about medical abilities; universities also want students who are happy, healthy and likely to contribute to university life as a whole. This example perfectly encapsulates how I would be a fantastic university student!
- THE BAD
Section 4
Everything doesn’t need to be “all medicine, all the time”, but linking this topic to medicine would have definitely helped it feel more relevant in this personal statement. I just said that this sounds like a good analogy for medicine, so all I would have needed to do is point this out in a slightly more explanatory way. Looking at the wording and phrasing I used, “I like the responsibility” maybe sounds a bit sociopathic while “organising other people” is also a slightly odd phrase. The junior school reading is maybe something I could have expanded on further, to show a bit more breadth.
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CONCLUSION
In summary: I enjoy science. I can relate to people. I am resilient and would relish an environment of lifelong learning. A career in a caring profession like medicine would be stimulating, meaningful, and provide me with the best opportunities to apply my knowledge to benefit others.
- THE GOOD
Conclusion
This is a proper summary of my personal statement; it doesn’t contain any new information and brings everything from my personal statement together in just 3 lines. It comes across as very snappy and ends with a true reflection of why I want to study medicine. This is pretty much everything expected of a good quality conclusion.
- THE BAD
Conclusion
This is perhaps where I may become a bit overly confident describing myself with all those terms. Taken on its own, the paragraph does nothing to show how I can say these things about myself, but I have tried to demonstrate why I believe I have those qualities throughout my statement. So hopefully, in context, it sounded appropriate. I suppose it must have done or else I wouldn’t have gotten my offers.
Final Thoughts
- THE GOOD
Overall
Throughout this analysis, I have made sure to point out several times that this statement is no-nonsense and straight to the point. It’s very factual, and I make a point of showing my qualities with evidence rather than just saying I am caring or I like science for example. I show a good breadth of experiences and am not afraid to speak about the bad ones, which shows I have a fuller picture of the highs and lows of a career in medicine. I wrote this knowing that whoever would end up reading would know far more than me about medicine and be far more experienced than myself, so I didn’t want to either talk down to them or sound like I was desperate to impress them. I’d say the biggest strength of this personal statement is its confidence. When writing, know what your strengths are and own up to your weaknesses while understanding that they don’t detract from your abilities unless you let them.
- THE BAD
Overall
Because I was applying to Oxford I put my academic achievements first, even though my strongest paragraphs were more in the middle. There were several things that I had done that I did not include, and perhaps I could have created more space by shortening some of the paragraphs to create space for them, to ensure I’m covering more of the skills and qualities medical schools are after. These are all structural issues, but I had a few issues with my writing style too. The confident writing approach is effective when done well, but it can fall flat when you make weird statements like my first line, or become a bit too cocky. There’s a balance to reach and, although you probably won’t perfect every line, you will need to most likely go through countless drafts to get it right.
So there you have it! This personal statement helped Alexander earn 2 offers from two of the most prestigious medical schools in the country!
Everyone has different experiences and abilities, so you may not be able to relate to everything that was said in this personal statement. However, the information and advice provided by Alexander is universal and will help any applicant write a better personal statement!
Be sure to check out more Medicine Personal Statement Analyses to see advice from all different kinds of applicants, including Ali Abdaal, another Oxbridge medical student! Or if you want to get started on your own statement, check out 6med’s Personal Statement Bundle for all the support and resources you’ll ever need! If you want full support on every part of your application and a guaranteed place at med school, the Complete Bundle will be perfect for you.
More Medicine Personal Statement Examples & Inspiration
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Are you feeling stuck with your Personal Statement?
Signing up to the Personal Statement Bundle means you’ll be guided by expert Medics who will help you write the perfect Personal Statement and provide unlimited redraft submissions.
Want to learn how to Write the Perfect Personal Statement? This bundle is the one for you…
