Welcome to our collection of Medicine Personal Statement Examples! We’ve searched far and wide to find personal statements from successful applicants all around the UK and asked them to analyse the strengths and weaknesses of their work for your own inspiration. Today’s subject is from Aneesha, who studies Medical Science at Imperial College London.
Aneesha had a applied to a selection of top medical schools in the UK before receiving an offer from both Imperial and King’s College London.
| University | King’s College London | Imperial College London | University of Oxford | University of Southampton |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Offer? | Yes | Yes |
Of course, Aneesha chose the former, so let’s read the personal statement that got her a place at Imperial College London, or skip straight to her feedback to learn what made her personal statement a success!
Please be aware that these examples are meant purely for the sake of inspiration, and should absolutely NOT be used as a model around which to base your own personal statement. UCAS have a rather strict system that detects plagiarism.
Imperial Medicine Personal Statement Example
WHOLE PERSONAL STATEMENT
Medical Science appeals to me because of its mutability. Particularly, the opportunity to continually learn and apply new innovations to help the human body function fascinates me. A teacher opened my eyes to how science is linked with all aspects of our life, prompting me to choose Biology at my A/Level. Human Biology in particular interested me. I realised how the various organ systems need to work in tandem to keep our bodies functioning. Visiting a Surgical Intensive Care Unit opened my eyes to instances in which congenital disorders destabilised the functioning of the entire body, which I was not able to glean from my textbooks.
Seeing an ETU function highlighted how stressful a medical career can be. Often, a single doctor on shift had to prioritise among patients who had been waiting for hours, and were heckling the doctor. I was impressed by their ability to keep calm and make swift decisions based on a range of symptoms. A highlight of my work experience was being able to see a Caesarean section delivery. I saw how everyone from the nurses to the surgeons contributed towards the procedure. Observing how the team supported the mother, calmly explaining what she could expect, and holding her hand through the pain, opened my eyes to the level of empathy and reliability required in this profession.
Shadowing a consultant in a Paediatric Preliminary Care Unit, I witnessed her dismiss a child’s concerns about an abdominal pain, and spoke to the mother in medical terms which did not effectively communicate the problem to her. On the other hand, another demonstrated how good communication can work wonders in drawing a patient out, with relatively simple questions like, “Have you eaten lunch yet?” This proved to be a highly thought-provoking experience, highlighting the importance of communication in medical practice.
During a project to raise funds for a local orphanage, we visited and spent hours with the children. I realised that what made them happiest was not the items we donated, but the fact that we spent time with them. The realisation that care is more valued than material items was humbling.
I wish to study abroad as repeated closure of local universities due to student unrest is discouraging and challenging. I wish to study in England as I have previously lived in the UK for a period of 5 years, and I am acclimated to the culture and language. English is also the main language of instruction of my current school. I hence believe that England would be a solid environment to be in whilst away from home.
Ranking second in the country at my GCE O/Level and maintaining a high academic level in my A/Level years has given me the confidence that I am able to cope with the academic demands of a medical degree.
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Imperial Medicine Personal Statement Example Analysis
Now, let’s go section by section and see what Aneesha has to say about what she wrote:
INTRODUCTION
Medical Science appeals to me because of its mutability. Particularly, the opportunity to continually learn and apply new innovations to help the human body function fascinates me. A teacher opened my eyes to how science is linked with all aspects of our life, prompting me to choose Biology at my A/Level. Human Biology in particular interested me. I realised how the various organ systems need to work in tandem to keep our bodies functioning. Visiting a Surgical Intensive Care Unit opened my eyes to instances in which congenital disorders destabilised the functioning of the entire body, which I was not able to glean from my textbooks.
- THE GOOD
Introduction
Beginning with what fascinates me about the course and including real life experience to back it up demonstrates my enthusiasm and excitement for my chosen degree, as well as an understanding of what a career in medicine could involve. An introduction needs to quickly get the point across that you have a genuine reason for joining this course and that you would be an asset to the university for this reason. This is especially true when your explanation dives deeper into actual subject knowledge rather than staying surface level. If you plan on specialising into a specific area, mention it (although you need to be careful not to come off as stuck in your ways and unable to explore new fields).
- THE BAD
Introduction
In terms of improvements, I could’ve introduced my other reason for studying medicine in my introduction. As I have chosen to write my personal statement in a narrative style, my motivation for studying medicine is laid out chronologically, however I feel that introducing these ideas earlier on could improve the overall structure of my personal statement and make me appear to be a more diverse candidate.
MAIN BODY
Section 1
Seeing an ETU function highlighted how stressful a medical career can be. Often, a single doctor on shift had to prioritise among patients who had been waiting for hours, and were heckling the doctor. I was impressed by their ability to keep calm and make swift decisions based on a range of symptoms. A highlight of my work experience was being able to see a Caesarean section delivery. I saw how everyone from the nurses to the surgeons contributed towards the procedure. Observing how the team supported the mother, calmly explaining what she could expect, and holding her hand through the pain, opened my eyes to the level of empathy and reliability required in this profession.
Shadowing a consultant in a Paediatric Preliminary Care Unit, I witnessed her dismiss a child’s concerns about an abdominal pain, and spoke to the mother in medical terms which did not effectively communicate the problem to her. On the other hand, another demonstrated how good communication can work wonders in drawing a patient out, with relatively simple questions like, “Have you eaten lunch yet?” This proved to be a highly thought-provoking experience, highlighting the importance of communication in medical practice.
- THE GOOD
Section 1
These two paragraphs both cover my ‘work experiences’ and generally have a similar format, so I felt it was best to discuss them together. In these paragraphs, I have reflected on my experiences in hospital and a clinical environment, which demonstrates that I am able to learn from experience. It also demonstrates a realistic understanding of a career in medicine and its challenges. A general rule of thumb is that any work experience like this needs to be discussed in-depth when writing a personal statement. It’s the most relevant and some of the most challenging work experience you can do pre-med school. It’s also good to focus more on what you learnt and witnessed compared to the work you actually did. The lessons learnt from the professionals are more valuable than any amount of assisting and busy-work you likely had to do during your time there!
- THE BAD
Section 1
The biggest flaw with this section is with the structure. I feel that these paragraphs may seem a little disjointed, as I have taken different experiences and written them without including any statement tying these experiences together. These experiences aren’t too different from each other, so it shouldn’t have been too hard to find a theme that links them together and explains how everything discussed helped me grow as a person.
MAIN BODY
Section 2
During a project to raise funds for a local orphanage, we visited and spent hours with the children. I realised that what made them happiest was not the items we donated, but the fact that we spent time with them. The realisation that care is more valued than material items was humbling.
- THE GOOD
Section 2
In my “work in a local orphanage” paragraph, I have demonstrated that I am able to work in a professional capacity, which is always a sign of a good candidate early on (voluntary work is always a good look as well). I have also reflected on this experience and tied it back to how this experience is of value to develop skills necessary in my career of choice. Best of all, it shows the humility that anyone needs when working in medicine, as it is primarily a human subject.
- THE BAD
Section 2
It’s a very short section though, so I could have brought in more examples of work placements and how these experiences have shaped me, and reflected further on how these experiences helped me develop my understanding of myself and my capabilities. These wouldn’t have had to have been as in-depth as my work experience discussion, but mention more examples of learning experiences will show a more well-rounded character on the page.
MAIN BODY
Section 3
I wish to study abroad as repeated closure of local universities due to student unrest is discouraging and challenging. I wish to study in England as I have previously lived in the UK for a period of 5 years, and I am acclimated to the culture and language. English is also the main language of instruction of my current school. I hence believe that England would be a solid environment to be in whilst away from home.
- THE GOOD
Section 3
In my “why do I want to study abroad” paragraph, I have highlighted a few reasons why I have chosen to leave home and learn in a completely new environment. I have also demonstrated that I feel confident in being able to acclimatise myself to this new environment. This may not be the most relevant information to provide in a personal statement, although it does display a great strength of my character and the skill of perseverance.
- THE BAD
Section 3
However, I feel that I could have highlighted what about the education system and course delivery in the UK interests me, and how I feel that this academic environment would be the best place for me to complete my degree and develop my skills. One piece of advice I can definitely give is this: UK applicant’s don’t really need to add a section like this to their personal statements!
MAIN BODY
Section 4
Ranking second in the country at my GCE O/Level and maintaining a high academic level in my A/Level years has given me the confidence that I am able to cope with the academic demands of a medical degree.
As a school prefect, dealing with my peers who faced issues such as stress, mental health concerns, and coming to terms with a horrific terrorist bombing, I was required to be an empathic listener and someone who was willing to actively help my fellow students. I understood my capacity to help, but knew my limitations. The emotional demand also taught me how to keep myself healthy whilst helping.
Music is my outlet, and I find time to play in a number of orchestras and sing chorally. Playing with the Sri Lanka Symphony Orchestra, I have been able to meet people of various social strata, ethnicities, religions and sexualities. As leader of my school orchestra, I learned the value of being organized and punctual, and how to lead a team, which I feel are transferable in my career of choice.
- THE GOOD
Section 4
These paragraphs again link together fairly closely, so it’s easier to analyse them together. In this “school/extra-curricular activities” section, I have demonstrated my academic capabilities as well as the skills I have developed in teamwork, communication, leadership and resilience, all of which are invaluable. While I have not gone too in-depth into any of these, it’s not really that necessary as they are all just smaller things that combine into a larger selection of skills and life lessons.
- THE BAD
Section 3
This paragraph could have been improved if I had linked it back to my paragraph on my work experience, and how the characteristics I developed linked back to my observations and reflections of a clinical environment. Having many individual experiences only gets you so far in your personal statement, almost anyone can go and do some of these things. The strength of them come from what you learn from them and how you can use all these experiences together to become a better medical worker. There are also some areas here that aren’t strictly necessary. If I had needed more space in other areas of the statement, this would have been the first place to make cuts.
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CONCLUSION
Having seen the emotional and intellectual demand associated with medicine I feel it is a career which is both stimulating and ultimately rewarding. This is why I hope to follow this discipline through my life.
- THE GOOD
Conclusion
In my conclusion, I have briefly summed up all of the ideas I brought out through my personal statement, which links my paragraphs together and highlights what I feel are the key aspects of this statement. This is exactly what a conclusion should do. There’s no need to add extra information or anything else in the last moments of you statement, all you need to do is reflect upon and summarise what you’ve said.
- THE BAD
Conclusion
This conclusion could have been further strengthened if I had mentioned a few key areas of my statement more specifically, in order to further demonstrate my understanding of what I feel are the most important segments. The reader wants to know that you fully understand what you’ve written and are genuine about the points you’ve made. The conclusion is the perfect place to do this, so being more specific, although not overly detailed, is a good idea.
Final Thoughts
- THE GOOD
Overall
I think my personal statement is honest and reflective, and the narrative style I have written it in demonstrates my journey in arriving at the conclusion I have. I feel that I have addressed several important questions such as why I have chosen this degree, what I have done to further my understanding of my chosen career, and how my personal experiences have shaped me in a way that lead to my choices. I also feel the answers I have provided are effective and convincing, using my real world experience to prove my commitment and skill in the field of medicine.
- THE BAD
Overall
I feel that the structure of my personal statement is a little disjointed at times, as I have written about a number of experiences without linking them together. Providing the links in your development is the best way to legitimise what you have said and make for a more believable and engaging story. This problem is highlighted in my conclusion, which could have pointed out the key points in my statement better. This would have helped round out the statement and make the important parts of what I said stick out in the reader’s mind after they finished reading.
So there you have it! This personal statement helped Aneesha get a place at imperial College London! Everyone has different experiences and abilities, so you may not be able to relate to everything that was said in this personal statement. However, the information and advice provided by Aneesha is universal and will help any applicant write a better personal statement!
Be sure to check out more Medicine Personal Statement Analyses to see advice from all different kinds of applicants, including Ali Abdaal himself! Or if you want to get started on your own statement, check out 6med’s Personal Statement Bundle for all the support and resources you’ll ever need! If you want full support on every part of your application and a guaranteed place at med school, the Complete Bundle will be perfect for you.
More Medicine Personal Statement Examples & Inspiration
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