Welcome to our collection of Medicine Personal Statement Examples! We’ve searched far and wide to find personal statements from successful applicants all around the UK and asked them to analyse the strengths and weaknesses of their work for your own inspiration. Today’s subject is from Jemma, who studies Medicine at Cardiff University.
Jemma applied to study medicine in 2020 at a variety of medical schools across the country, including Southampton and Birmingham. She was able to receive an offer from Cardiff University, where she now studies.
| University | Cardiff University | University of Birmingham | University of Southampton | University of Exeter |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Offer? | Yes |
Let’s read the personal statement that got her a place at Cardiff, or skip straight to her feedback to learn what made her personal statement a success!
Please be aware that these examples are meant purely for the sake of inspiration, and should absolutely NOT be used as a model around which to base your own personal statement. UCAS have a rather strict system that detects plagiarism.
Cardiff University Medicine Personal Statement Example
WHOLE PERSONAL STATEMENT
The combination of scientific and humanitarian skills attracts me to medicine. I love that logic and empathy play a key role in the solution to many medical situations.
The Observe GP work experience highlighted that doctors must demonstrate integrity, resilience, and professionalism in all circumstances. Watching a consultation take place between a GP and patient allowed me to recognise the importance of problem solving under pressure. The GP was able to effectively diagnose the patient in a short amount of time, while remaining personable and developing their rapport. I also admired the patient-doctor relationship; through effective communication, the GP was able to diagnose the patient mostly from the patient’s story. I think I have developed the basis of these skills through working a part-time job in a local café. I multi-task under pressure, while remaining sympathetic and attentive to any customer requests. It has taught me to prioritise the safety and needs of customers before my own.
Completing the Brighton and Sussex’s Medical School work experience highlighted the variety of roles within medicine. Despite the range, each profession within a hospital environment can unite to ensure every patient feels comfortable; effective teamwork throughout the medical team ensures mistakes made in the hospital are limited. Doctors have also cooperated on a national scale. The Covid-19 pandemic has highlighted the sacrifice doctors make to prioritise patient care. As a result of the pandemic, I have become more aware of the complexities in the development of medicine. For example, by following the Covid-19 Recovery Trial I learnt that a simple steroid could improve the survival of the sickest patients. This suggests that medicine is constantly evolving; a drug, despite being established for a different purpose, can have a positive impact for a different illness. In the future, I would love to further my research into pharmacology and prevention.
While volunteering in a young person’s care home for the disabled, I was struck by the compassion and dedication of the nurses and carers; they went out of their way to provide the best care they could to every patient. This inspires me to study medicine, so that I can dedicate all my skills and care to help another person and work cohesively in a team. I was also intrigued by the journey and experience of the patients. By spending time playing games and activities with each patient I was able to learn more about their personal life. So often people are excluded for their disability; I felt it was important to try and develop relationships. One patient informed me about his experience as a police officer and avid rugby player, reminding me that there is so much more to people than meets the eye. The range of chronic illnesses I witnessed reminded me of the complexity of medicine. Medicine encourages you to be adaptable, a skill which I have managed to learn through netball, with its quick reaction times and need for teamwork to perform effectively. It has taught me dedication and resilience; I was able to continue to train with and support my teammates regardless of external pressures I was experiencing at the time. I have learnt the importance of balance in my own lifestyle to improve my own wellbeing and mental health.
While reading ‘The Children Act’ by Ian McEwan, I explored the ethics of medicine. A doctor must accept and work around the patient’s culture and religion. The idea that there is not always a ‘right’ answer is intriguing. I look forward to discussions to evaluate possible treatments and the best approach for patient care. The study of Literature constantly reminds me to question the variety of perspectives at hand. It has given me the ability to empathise with every ‘character’ by gaining external information to evaluate and analyse circumstances. I think these skills could be vital when studying medicine; each patient should be approached with understanding.
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Cardiff University Medicine Personal Statement Example Analysis
Now, let’s go section by section and see what Jemma has to say about what she wrote:
INTRODUCTION
The combination of scientific and humanitarian skills attracts me to medicine. I love that logic and empathy play a key role in the solution to many medical situations.
- THE GOOD
Introduction
In this introduction, I get straight to the point and address the most poignant reason for why I should and want to study medicine. It shows I have an understanding of what a medical degree involves and why that is desirable to me. It is a short and snappy opening paragraph that easily summarises my intentions and maintains the attention of the reader.
- THE BAD
Introduction
I think the introduction is quite basic though. Whilst it is definitely a true statement that is applicable to my situation, I am not sure it is the most unique opening. The statement made would very likely be relevant for at least half of the applicants from that year! I would try to make it more personable in order to reveal more about myself as an individual. Even if it’s just a small detail that’s unique to you, you should aim to say something different.
MAIN BODY
Paragraph 1
The Observe GP work experience highlighted that doctors must demonstrate integrity, resilience, and professionalism in all circumstances. Watching a consultation take place between a GP and patient allowed me to recognise the importance of problem solving under pressure. The GP was able to effectively diagnose the patient in a short amount of time, while remaining personable and developing their rapport. I also admired the patient-doctor relationship; through effective communication, the GP was able to diagnose the patient mostly from the patient’s story. I think I have developed the basis of these skills through working a part-time job in a local café. I multi-task under pressure, while remaining sympathetic and attentive to any customer requests. It has taught me to prioritise the safety and needs of customers before my own.
- THE GOOD
Paragraph 1
In this first paragraph, I instantly addressed the work experience I had done to show that I was dedicated to pursuing a career in medicine and I had an understanding of what it was going to be like. It’s pretty common to lead your personal statement with your work experience, as this is usually the most relevant and most important piece of experience that you’ll write about. Some people may discuss their academics first, but this is more common in applications to Oxford or Cambridge.
Throughout the discussion, I acknowledged the skills of a GP and expressed my admiration to have similar qualities whilst also addressing the skills I already saw in myself in my job. Reflecting on the things you learn is the most important thing to do when writing about work experience, as these lessons are the most valuable thing that you take away from work experience.
- THE BAD
Paragraph 1
At times, the writing seems monotonous as I list the skills doctors have without providing examples or references as to why and when these skills can be important. This is very much wasted space as the reader will already know all this information. This space would have been better spent reflecting more on myself and what I feel I learned about these qualities. As I said, the lessons are the most important takeaway from any work experience, but this runs deeper than just general qualities and physical abilities. I should have been more introspective about my time in order to add depth to the discussion and give the reader a better sense of my thought process. As well as this, Some of the adjectives can seem more like a tick box rather than adding any substance. Universities can see right through padding, so don’t rely on it.
MAIN BODY
Paragraph 2
Completing Brighton and Sussex’s Medical School work experience highlighted the variety of roles within medicine. Despite the range, each profession within a hospital environment can unite to ensure every patient feels comfortable; effective teamwork throughout the medical team ensures mistakes made in the hospital are limited. Doctors have also cooperated on a national scale. The Covid-19 pandemic has highlighted the sacrifice doctors make to prioritise patient care. As a result of the pandemic, I have become more aware of the complexities in the development of medicine. For example, by following the Covid-19 Recovery Trial I learnt that a simple steroid could improve the survival of the sickest patients. This suggests that medicine is constantly evolving; a drug, despite being established for a different purpose, can have a positive impact for a different illness. In the future, I would love to further my research into pharmacology and prevention.
- THE GOOD
Paragraph 2
This paragraph addresses more work experience and research I conducted in my free time to show I have a genuine passion for the subject rather than just looking for a career or degree. I related my observations to contemporary medicine to show that I was observant and aware that medicine is constantly changing. I also felt it was particularly relevant to address the impact of COVID considering the time of my application. It’s true that many, many applicants would also discuss this, but it was a major event in medicine so not speaking about it would seem ignorant.
- THE BAD
Paragraph 2
I feel my discussions here are all rather surface-level, as I don’t discuss too much about the impacts all of these things have had on my own experiences. For example, my discussion of COVID doesn’t say too much other than a very general statement about doctors and one thing I had learned which is also very broad. At the end of the paragraph, I reference pharmacology and prevention. I would expand on why I would like to advance my research in this area of medicine and how I want to achieve that. The kind of detail you should be adding is information about yourself in relation to your discussion points, be it the lessons you’ve learnt or the qualities you have. Nothing that creates a picture of your character is filler.
MAIN BODY
Paragraph 3
While volunteering in a young person’s care home for the disabled, I was struck by the compassion and dedication of the nurses and carers; they went out of their way to provide the best care they could to every patient. This inspires me to study medicine, so that I can dedicate all my skills and care to help another person and work cohesively in a team. I was also intrigued by the journey and experience of the patients. By spending time playing games and activities with each patient I was able to learn more about their personal life. So often people are excluded for their disability; I felt it was important to try and develop relationships. One patient informed me about his experience as a police officer and avid rugby player, reminding me that there is so much more to people than meets the eye. The range of chronic illnesses I witnessed reminded me of the complexity of medicine. Medicine encourages you to be adaptable, a skill which I have managed to learn through netball, with its quick reaction times and need for teamwork to perform effectively. It has taught me dedication and resilience; I was able to continue to train with and support my teammates regardless of external pressures I was experiencing at the time. I have learnt the importance of balance in my own lifestyle to improve my own wellbeing and mental health.
- THE GOOD
Paragraph 3
I think this paragraph is particularly strong as I appear more personable when I reflect on the impact the healthcare environment has directly had upon me. I recognise that the people who are being treated have lives; this draws attention to my understanding of the four pillars of ethics (particularly autonomy) and demonstrates my empathy. I also recognise that medicine can be a demanding degree and that I am able to manage its constraints and demands. All of these elements make for a very reflective paragraph that paints me in a very respectable light with lots of desirable qualities and a realistic outlook.
- THE BAD
Paragraph 3
I think this paragraph could be strengthened if I included my faults as well as my strengths and how I was able to overcome them. It’s all well and good presenting yourself as an extremely competent applicant with truthful statements, but it shows a lot more depth of character to be able to discuss where you’re not as strong. This is especially true when discussing a weakness that you have or are in the process of overcoming. By admitting some of my initial issues within the care environment, such as my difficulty displaying empathy, I could have been able to show that I am extremely adaptable and receptacle to different environments.
MAIN BODY
Paragraph 4
While reading ‘The Children Act’ by Ian McEwan, I explored the ethics of medicine. A doctor must accept and work around the patient’s culture and religion. The idea that there is not always a ‘right’ answer is intriguing. I look forward to discussions to evaluate possible treatments and the best approach for patient care. The study of Literature constantly reminds me to question the variety of perspectives at hand. It has given me the ability to empathise with every ‘character’ by gaining external information to evaluate and analyse circumstances. I think these skills could be vital when studying medicine; each patient should be approached with understanding.
- THE GOOD
Paragraph 4
I chose a fictional novel to show I had spent time understanding the role of a doctor in my spare time. It may seem like an odd choice to discuss fiction rather than non-fiction here, but I believed it would set me apart from the crowd. Plus, I would say there is more to be interpreted from a work of fiction compared to a factual piece of writing, demonstrating more creative thinking. By acknowledging my A Level in English Literature, I think I was able to show that I am a well-rounded individual who has interests outside of medicine. It is important to me to be a memorable character to the application team.
- THE BAD
Paragraph 4
Although this discussion is more interesting for the reader, it’s unfortunately not the most relevant book to discuss in depth. Even with this level of depth though, I could have elaborated on the plot of the novel more, as it is difficult to understand the relevance of the novel to medicine without an explanation. Really, I should have properly justified why I chose to discuss fiction rather than nonfiction novel.
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CONCLUSION
- THE GOOD
Conclusion
I chose not to include a conclusion in my personal statement as I did not have enough characters remaining and I thought the rest of the content was more relevant and important than including an empty statement at the end. I think the main body of my statement gave the applications team a good understanding of me as an individual and how I would be suitable for their university.
- THE BAD
Conclusion
However, in retrospect, a short sentence to conclude why I think I am a strong and suitable candidate for their medical school would have created a nice end to my personal statement. As it is, it ends so suddenly on a topic that isn’t particularly relevant or strong in comparison to the rest of my writing. While this may have been memorable due to it being different, it would likely be memorable due to its oddness, which isn’t a great thing to strive for. Given the chance to rewrite, I would have tried to think of something unique that would create a strong summary without repeating what I had already said. A good conclusion won’t take up much of your word count but will create a satisfying ending to your writing that the reader will appreciate.
Final Thoughts
- THE GOOD
Overall
My statement is personal and draws attention to my differences as a candidate and how they make me a stronger and more desirable individual for their medical school. While I do hit all the major points that are expected of a medical personal statement, I tackle them in a way that doesn’t feel generic or copy-pasted. For example, I tried to include unique texts and research so that the application team would not feel like they were just rereading the same information as they had seen before. Similarly, I tried to show that I had different skills that could be beneficial to a doctor i.e. having studied English Literature at A Level.
Having the relevant experience and skills is the baseline of a viable candidate, so in order to truly stand out to the admission team, you need to either have truly amazing experiences or write a personal statement that demonstrates the unique qualities and viewpoints that you can bring. Not many people are going to be lucky enough to take part in life-changing placements or experiences, so writing a creative statement is going to be your best chance of standing out.
- THE BAD
Overall
While I have provided many unique outlooks and experiences throughout this statement, I discussed many topics in much depth. I spend a lot of time discussing common knowledge in regard to my various experiences, which is really a waste of space in regard to a personal statement. The point of a personal statement is to both show your prior experience and skills but also demonstrate your ability to reflect on the qualities that make you a good candidate and the things that have helped you develop.
One area I feel is somewhat weak is my work experience. My observations at the time, whilst valid, were not eye-catching but instead seemed to repeat generalised statements which would have been seen in many personal statements. I think it is important for personal statements to stand out and try to express yourself as well as possible as an individual. Also, it goes without saying that I would also include a short conclusion to try and summarise to the reader my strongest points.
So there you have it! This personal statement helped Jemma get a place studying medicine at Cardiff.
Everyone has different experiences and abilities, so you may not be able to relate to everything that was said in this personal statement. However, the information and advice provided by Jemma is universal and will help any applicant write a better personal statement!
Be sure to check out more Medicine Personal Statement Analyses to see advice from all different kinds of applicants, including Ali Abdaal himself! Or if you want to get started on your own statement, check out 6med’s Medicine Mastery Bundle for all the support and resources you’ll ever need!
More Medicine Personal Statement Examples & Inspiration
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Are you feeling stuck with your Personal Statement?
Signing up to the Personal Statement Bundle means you’ll be guided by expert Medics who will help you write the perfect Personal Statement and provide unlimited redraft submissions.
Want to learn how to Write the Perfect Personal Statement? This bundle is the one for you…
