Welcome to our collection of Medicine Personal Statement Examples! We’ve searched far and wide to find personal statements from successful applicants all around the UK and asked them to analyse the strengths and weaknesses of their work for your own inspiration. Today’s subject is from Alex, who studies Graduate Medicine at Brighton and Sussex Medical School.
Alex had originally studied Biological Sciences before graduating and applying to study graduate medicine. With this personal statement she had earned two interviews and one offer for Brighton and Sussex Medical School!
| University | Brighton and Sussex Medical School | University College London | University of Cambridge | St. George’s University of London |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Offer? | Yes |
Let’s read the personal statement that got her a place at Brighton and Sussex, or skip straight to his feedback to learn what made her personal statement a success!
Please be aware that these examples are meant purely for the sake of inspiration, and should absolutely NOT be used as a model around which to base your own personal statement. UCAS have a rather strict system that detects plagiarism.
Brighton and Sussex Graduate Medicine Personal Statement Example
WHOLE PERSONAL STATEMENT
I want to become a doctor because I want to make a tangible difference to people’s lives and am drawn to the fast-paced and challenging nature of the career. Medicine advances as a result of innovation and research, which I find an exciting prospect, and my current biosciences degree has helped fuel this interest through following my lecturers’ research and the clinical implications, such as therapeutic phage therapy. To me it would be a privilege to be able to support people when at their most vulnerable. In addition, the core principles of the NHS resonate with me, including equal and accessible quality healthcare for all, as well as providing dignity and respect. Since coming to university I have had the opportunity to further hone the interpersonal skills essential for good medical practice, including empathy, communication and teamwork, as I will describe.
I have completed several work experience placements over the last four years in specialties including respiratory, orthopaedics, emergency, medical oncology clinics and breast cancer surgery, as well as more recently in obstetrics and a virtual work experience during lockdown. These have given me an insight into the career, from the practical side of seeing F1 duties and how clinics and ward rounds are conducted, as well as observing ethical challenges and the emotional resilience required.
My appreciation for the science behind clinical practice has been strengthened by work experience at the RMH where I shadowed staff in histopathology and research laboratories, showing me the importance of biology at a molecular level, even during surgery. For example, during a wide local excision the specimen was x-rayed to check the margins during the surgery to allow surgeons to decide whether to remove more tissue. I am a science contributor to my university magazine, which has improved my ability to communicate complex science to laypeople. Recently I have written about the clinical applications of tardigrade research as well as dangers of preprint articles.
For the last two years I have volunteered with Sanctuary 21, providing meals to the homeless, which involved preparing food and eating with the guests. Although this could be a challenging experience at times, I was able to establish trusting relationships with vulnerable people, a vital skill that I could transfer to long-term patients. This required empathy and improved my communication skills. I believe strong communication is key to delivering patient-centred care, which is something I observed in oncology clinics as well as seeing the importance of delivering news in an accessible way to patients and managing expectations. I also believe that quality healthcare should be equal and accessible to all. For example, at the RMH I witnessed a case where an elderly lady living in Brighton wished to receive a treatment only available at the RMH but couldn’t, since she was unable to travel daily, highlighting to me the disparity in treatment quality across the UK, even within the NHS. This concept translates to my interest in MSF and similar humanitarian organisations, which was further expanded on by reading ‘An Imperfect Offering’. I would plan to use a final year elective to explore this interest further.
Teamwork is vital in the medical profession and I have witnessed this across a range of departments. For example, during MDT meetings as well as on an orthopaedic ward, where there was collaboration between doctors, nurses, physios and occupational therapists. I saw evidence of strong teamwork here, as everyone was actively participating, and all opinions were valued equally. Whilst on an obstetric ward I also shadowed midwives and nurses, which helped me understand how different roles come together. I am a member of my university rowing team and was on the entertainment committee as a junior and then as a senior, which taught me skills as both a team player and as a leader.
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Brighton and Sussex Graduate Medicine Personal Statement Example Analysis
Now, let’s go section by section and see what Alex has to say about what she wrote:
INTRODUCTION
I want to become a doctor because I want to make a tangible difference to people’s lives and am drawn to the fast-paced and challenging nature of the career. Medicine advances as a result of innovation and research, which I find an exciting prospect, and my current biosciences degree has helped fuel this interest through following my lecturers’ research and the clinical implications, such as therapeutic phage therapy. To me it would be a privilege to be able to support people when at their most vulnerable. In addition, the core principles of the NHS resonate with me, including equal and accessible quality healthcare for all, as well as providing dignity and respect. Since coming to university I have had the opportunity to further hone the interpersonal skills essential for good medical practice, including empathy, communication and teamwork, as I will describe.
- THE GOOD
Introduction
In this introduction, I think that I effectively drew on my past experiences and interests and how those are relevant to wanting to do medicine – e.g., my interest in clinical applications of science. I think that mentioning the core values of the NHS also worked well, as I was trying to show that I understood what those values were and how important they are. Showing a good understanding of medicine in the real world shows both your research ability and your awareness of the industry you’re aiming to enter.
- THE BAD
Introduction
I think that the first sentence could have been better and more powerful – people often say that’s the hardest line to write. Although you’re obviously limited by the character count, I think I definitely could have explained some things better or in more detail rather than making slightly vague, surface-level statements. Everything you write in the personal statement needs to have a reason for being there, but you can’t rely on the reader to assume the reasoning. Always aim to explicitly link everything back to yourself or to medicine, as this will ensure everything you say is relevant and adds to the points you’re making.
MAIN BODY
Paragraph 1
I have completed several work experience placements over the last four years in specialties including respiratory, orthopaedics, emergency, medical oncology clinics and breast cancer surgery, as well as more recently in obstetrics and a virtual work experience during lockdown. These have given me an insight into the career, from the practical side of seeing F1 duties and how clinics and ward rounds are conducted, as well as observing ethical challenges and the emotional resilience required.
- THE GOOD
Paragraph 1
This is a fairly short paragraph for a very important discussion point (work experience), but I was able to describe a range of things that I had done over the last few years. The most important thing to do when discussing any kind of work placement is to explain what you had learnt in terms of understanding life in medicine and any multidisciplinary skills you acquired. This is something I was able to do in the latter half of the paragraph, which demonstrates that I took more than just the experience itself from my work placements.
- THE BAD
Paragraph 1
I’ve just stated that explaining the lessons learnt from your work experience is the most important thing, and while I have done that to a certain degree, I didn’t go nearly far enough in explaining the experiences my in-depth. At the beginning of the paragraph, I listed all the different specialties that I had done work experience in, but in hindsight it does seem like a waste of words to just list several specialties if I wasn’t going to say anything specific about them – instead I could have just saved the words and said ‘work experience’ and then said more about what I took away from the experience. My concern was to impress the admissions team with the range of areas I had worked in, without even exploring what all of that meant in the long run.
MAIN BODY
Paragraph 2
My appreciation for the science behind clinical practice has been strengthened by work experience at the RMH where I shadowed staff in histopathology and research laboratories, showing me the importance of biology at a molecular level, even during surgery. For example, during a wide local excision the specimen was x-rayed to check the margins during the surgery to allow surgeons to decide whether to remove more tissue. I am a science contributor to my university magazine, which has improved my ability to communicate complex science to laypeople. Recently I have written about the clinical applications of tardigrade research as well as dangers of preprint articles.
- THE GOOD
Paragraph 2
Following on from what I said about Paragraph 1 – this one is much better because I gave specifics about what I learned from a specific placement – in this case science at a molecular level related to medicine. This section does a much better job of displaying my actual skills as a prospective medical professional, as I speak with confidence and understanding about the work I did during this time. The additional experiences mentioned towards the end of the paragraphs also make for good discussion points that could potentially be discussed further in interviews (which they were for me).
- THE BAD
Paragraph 2
As in-depth as the explanation of my experience may be in this paragraph, I once again failed to really dive deeper into how this time affected me and helped me grow. I described the physical tasks that I had been doing, which can be interesting, but the reader needs to understand the true value of the experience.
Also, although I tried to link the part about writing science articles for a magazine, it doesn’t really flow that naturally. I could have found a better or more articulate way of linking those things together, as without a better phrase or sentence to link the 2 sections together, it doesn’t really flow that obviously. Perhaps I could have also made a more obvious statement about why it’s important as a doctor to be able to communicate complex science to laypeople instead of assuming that the reader would make that conclusion.
MAIN BODY
Paragraph 3
For the last two years I have volunteered with Sanctuary 21, providing meals to the homeless, which involved preparing food and eating with the guests. Although this could be a challenging experience at times, I was able to establish trusting relationships with vulnerable people, a vital skill that I could transfer to long-term patients. This required empathy and improved my communication skills. I believe strong communication is key to delivering patient-centred care, which is something I observed in oncology clinics as well as seeing the importance of delivering news in an accessible way to patients and managing expectations. I also believe that quality healthcare should be equal and accessible to all. For example, at the RMH I witnessed a case where an elderly lady living in Brighton wished to receive a treatment only available at the RMH but couldn’t, since she was unable to travel daily, highlighting to me the disparity in treatment quality across the UK, even within the NHS. This concept translates to my interest in MSF and similar humanitarian organisations, which was further expanded on by reading ‘An Imperfect Offering’. I would plan to use a final year elective to explore this interest further.
- THE GOOD
Paragraph 3
I think that the first half of this paragraph works well – the part about volunteering at the homeless shelter, because I was able to link the experience to what it would be like working as a doctor. I tried to link this to a specific situation that I saw on work experience, which further show that I am able to reflect and find connections between two completely different experiences. I think mentioning equal and accessible healthcare worked quite well because this is one of the values of the NHS, as I mentioned in the introduction. I mentioned a book that I had read and I think the link between Doctors without borders (MSF) and the situation at the Royal Marsden worked well. Mentioning the final year elective works here because it demonstrated knowledge of different stages of medical school.
- THE BAD
Paragraph 3
This is one of the better paragraphs in this personal statement, but it’s not perfect. I could have expanded more on the book ‘An Imperfect Offering’ and what I took from it, as well as explaining more about what I meant about exploring my interest in medical humanitarianism during an elective. This may also have benefited from being split into 2 paragraphs, as this paragraph is pretty long and not as easy to read as it could have been.
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CONCLUSION
Teamwork is vital in the medical profession and I have witnessed this across a range of departments. For example, during MDT meetings as well as on an orthopaedic ward, where there was collaboration between doctors, nurses, physios and occupational therapists. I saw evidence of strong teamwork here, as everyone was actively participating, and all opinions were valued equally. Whilst on an obstetric ward I also shadowed midwives and nurses, which helped me understand how different roles come together. I am a member of my university rowing team and was on the entertainment committee as a junior and then as a senior, which taught me skills as both a team player and as a leader.
- THE GOOD
Conclusion
My final paragraph wasn’t necessarily a typical concluding paragraph, as I felt that I would rather use the characters to say something new, instead of a few lines summarising/repeating. I mentioned extra-curricular activities that I’d done, whilst also trying to link these activities to a career in medicine, which is always necessary to in order to justify the discussion. I spoke a lot about teamwork in this paragraph to emphasise that I understood its importance in medicine.
- THE BAD
Conclusion
I gave quite a few factual points about the workings of an MDT, and whilst I was trying to demonstrate knowledge, I should have focussed less on common facts that the reader will likely already know. While it’s good to demonstrate knowledge, this needs to link more to your abilities and experiences. I also think that the last sentence does not flow at all, and was not an appropriate closing sentence for this personal statement. While I didn’t want to spend too much space going over everything I’d already written, I understand now that there should have been some sort of “all-encompassing” finale to properly finish off the personal statement, no matter how short.
Final Thoughts
- THE GOOD
Overall
I believe this is overall a fairly strong personal statement. I have provided a wide variety of skills and experiences that are very relevant to the course I was applying for. I found the most important thing when writing was to remember who I was writing for. This was going to be read by admissions teams for medicine graduate courses, so I avoided writing about irrelevant or general topics that would not link to the subject.
I think that my section about volunteering at the homeless shelter was probably the strongest, with the links to communication and empathy, as it’s important to demonstrate an understanding of actual skills and traits needed to work in medicine. I think that areas where I was able to draw on my personal experiences and where these linked to a career in medicine were also the strongest parts.
- THE BAD
Overall
I think that there were areas where my personal statement didn’t necessarily flow naturally within paragraphs. Whilst some of those points were good to include, perhaps the order could have been improved and I could also have included more linking phrases/sentences that would have improved the flow. There were moments were I assumed that the reader would easily make links/ know why I had included things in that order, when I should have been trying to make it as obvious and easy as possible for the reader to understand.
That’s one of the easiest mistakes to make when writing a personal statement (and one I made a few too many times here), as many people will find it hard to write about themselves in a way that would allow an outsider to both understand and be impressed by them as an applicant or prospective medical professional. As I said, always remember who you’re writing for – that person knows nothing about you so always aim to make the best impression without leaving anything to assumption.
So there you have it! This personal statement helped Alex earn her place at Brighton and Sussex Medical School! Everyone has different experiences and abilities (especially when considering undergraduates compared to graduates), so you may not be able to relate to everything that was said in this personal statement. However, the information and advice provided by Alex is universal and will help any applicant write a better personal statement!
Be sure to check out more Medicine Personal Statement Analyses to see advice from all different kinds of applicants, including Ali Abdaal himself! Or if you want to get started on your own statement, check out 6med’s Medicine Mastery Bundle for all the medicine application support and resources you’ll ever need!
More Medicine Personal Statement Examples & Inspiration
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