Welcome to our collection of Medicine Personal Statement Examples! We’ve searched far and wide to find personal statements from successful applicants all around the UK and asked them to analyse the strengths and weaknesses of their work for your own inspiration. Today’s subject is from Elizabeth, who studies Medicine at the University of Cambridge.
| University | University of Cambridge | University of Edinburgh | University College London | University of Birmingham |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Offer? | Yes | Yes | Yes | Yes |
Let’s read the personal statement that got her a place at the University of Cambridge, or skip straight to her feedback to learn what made her personal statement a success!
Please be aware that these examples are meant purely for the sake of inspiration, and should absolutely NOT be used as a model around which to base your own personal statement. UCAS have a rather strict system that detects plagiarism.
Cambridge Medicine Personal Statement Example
WHOLE PERSONAL STATEMENT
Months of work experience in Nigeria has led me to appreciate the free evidence based healthcare provided by the NHS. I observed the preferred use of traditional medicine and distrust of modern treatments in rural areas, leading to poorer health and even deformities. Contrasting this with the increase in measles in the UK, I can see the importance of public trust alongside properly gained results to refine healthcare provision, requiring doctors to communicate ideas well. The potential impact of modern healthcare in these areas showed me how crucial medicine is in the betterment of lives. Pursuing medicine allows me to apply my passion for science and communication in social contexts in order to help those in need.
To gain insight into research, I went to a UCL virology lab. Speaking to a PhD student investigating protease inhibitor resistance in Nigerian HIV patients, I realised how drug access affects the spread of disease in developing countries and how different strategies may be needed to control disease. I now know that there are cultural practices and biological factors believed to increase HIV vulnerability and transmission, such as FGMs and mutations, which result in the loss of proteins such as DARC. The effect of culture on health is not only limited to developing countries with controversy over NHS PrEP in the UK. However we can effectively prevent and treat infectious diseases like HIV, yet our culture of binge drinking, smoking and overeating results in health complications that are great public health burdens. As our population ages, culture will change, medicine will continue to evolve and I am excited to be a part of this progressive field.
Work experience showed me that doctors never stop learning. Continuous reflection upon successes and failures is essential for progression. During a week at Homerton Hospital ICU, I sat in on an M&M meeting, where I heard from a consultant haematologist reflecting upon the death of a sickle cell patient due to fat emboli, resulting in multiple organ failure. Hearing the consultant’s desire to improve the treatment, as he reflected on errors, showed me how medicine is also a trained art. I noticed his resilience as, despite the death, he continued to treat patients. In keeping my own journal, where I reflect upon my own successes and failures during my work experience, scientific presentations and volunteering, I have become more self-aware, a quality I saw in the consultant. Seeing the close interaction between the team of healthcare professionals in the ICU showed me the importance of teamwork and leadership. Effective healthcare cannot be the sole responsibility of one person.
Four months of volunteering to help a year 6 pupil with maths showed me how things needed to be explained in several ways, requiring mental flexibility. This is like the anaesthetist I shadowed in theatre; having to explain the procedure in multiple ways to ensure the patient understood so could fully consent.
Whilst reading papers in the BMJ and The Beautiful Cure, I have found a love for scientific writing. I am a part of the Young Scientist Journal’s outreach team as an ambassador for medicine. This has allowed me to combine my love for writing with teamwork by being able to be part of the publishing and work in a multidisciplinary team comparable to an ICU, inspiring future medics and scientists. Alongside Journal volunteering, I am completing my gold DofE, which has improved my dedication and time management skills, alongside developing new skills such as orienteering requiring patience. Having also had many roles of great responsibility and leadership opportunities, such as being head girl of my sixth form, I have a realistic image of what it is like to pursue medicine. I am committed to following a lifelong career in the medical field, in order to better the lives of others.
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Cambridge Medicine Personal Statement Example Analysis
Now, let’s go section by section and see what Elizabeth has to say about what she wrote:
INTRODUCTION
Months of work experience in Nigeria has led me to appreciate the free evidence based healthcare provided by the NHS. I observed the preferred use of traditional medicine and distrust of modern treatments in rural areas, leading to poorer health and even deformities. Contrasting this with the increase in measles in the UK, I can see the importance of public trust alongside properly gained results to refine healthcare provision, requiring doctors to communicate ideas well. The potential impact of modern healthcare in these areas showed me how crucial medicine is in the betterment of lives. Pursuing medicine allows me to apply my passion for science and communication in social contexts in order to help those in need.
- THE GOOD
Introduction
This opening isn’t a traditional PS introduction that begins with general statements about my interest in medicine. However, it introduces the person reading straight away to the main thing that drew me to medicine. I was able to show how one experience, work experience in Nigeria, had led me to carry out more research into public health and led me to want to study medicine. It portrays me as being a curious student who is also reflective on what I learn, without directly saying so to the reader. I think the comparing and contrasting of the Nigerian healthcare system with the NHS was very effective in portraying me as a student who viewed medicine critically and demonstrates both my interest and research skills.
- THE BAD
Introduction
As for a few issues I have with this paragraph, the ending of the paragraph is a bit vague. It is clear that I was running out of characters and so I sacrificed some clarity. I also did not address why I appreciated the NHS and I just go on to talk about my experience in Nigeria. Lastly, some of the statements I made were very vague, such as “the potential impact of modern healthcare on these areas”. What areas am I talking about?
However, admissions teams know that you have a very limited amount of space, so they will be more likely to forgive unexplored statements if you’ve already provided plenty of meaningful information about you motivations and interests.
MAIN BODY
Paragraph 1
To gain insight into research, I went to a UCL virology lab. Speaking to a PhD student investigating protease inhibitor resistance in Nigerian HIV patients, I realised how drug access affects the spread of disease in developing countries and how different strategies may be needed to control disease. I now know that there are cultural practices and biological factors believed to increase HIV vulnerability and transmission, such as FGMs and mutations, which result in the loss of proteins such as DARC. The effect of culture on health is not only limited to developing countries with controversy over NHS PrEP in the UK. However we can effectively prevent and treat infectious diseases like HIV, yet our culture of binge drinking, smoking and overeating results in health complications that are great public health burdens. As our population ages, culture will change, medicine will continue to evolve and I am excited to be a part of this progressive field.
- THE GOOD
Paragraph 1
Here I talk about my lab-based work experience and was able to address the importance of scientific research with clinical practice. It also followed on well from my introduction as it showed that I decided to further explore public health, which is evidenced by the amount of actual depth displayed in my writing. Often people think they need to do as many different things as possible to demonstrate their worth, but I think by me keeping on this theme I showed my passion for medicine much more effectively. It’s about the balance of being the Jack-of-All-Trades or mastering one or two!
- THE BAD
Paragraph 1
I made a grammatical error which should have been easy to spot if I had properly proof read it before submitting, “However we can effectively prevent and treat infectious diseases like HIV, yet our culture of binge drinking, smoking and overeating results in health complications that are great public health burdens.” Within this same sentence I made quite a bold, but still very true, claim that I was very worried about having to defend in interviews. Although never questioned on, I do feel that you should avoid putting anything in your personal statement that you would be too scared to defend at interview.
MAIN BODY
Paragraph 2
Work experience showed me that doctors never stop learning. Continuous reflection upon successes and failures is essential for progression. During a week at Homerton Hospital ICU, I sat in on an M&M meeting, where I heard from a consultant haematologist reflecting upon the death of a sickle cell patient due to fat emboli, resulting in multiple organ failure. Hearing the consultant’s desire to improve the treatment, as he reflected on errors, showed me how medicine is also a trained art. I noticed his resilience as, despite the death, he continued to treat patients. In keeping my own journal, where I reflect upon my own successes and failures during my work experience, scientific presentations and volunteering, I have become more self-aware, a quality I saw in the consultant. Seeing the close interaction between the team of healthcare professionals in the ICU showed me the importance of teamwork and leadership. Effective healthcare cannot be the sole responsibility of one person.
- THE GOOD
Paragraph 2
Here, I was able to effectively write about the hospital-based work experience I had undertaken and reflect on what I had learned. Not only what I had learned at the time but what I had taken from this experience and how I went on to then apply it in my journey as a medical student. Reflection is the most important thing you can do when discussing work experience. Applicants don’t go to work-experience just to learn new skills and essentially train for the job; they go to experience the setting and learn from the people who have spent years doing that job. Your personal statement isn’t for just explaining how you helped a patient in some way, it’s about what you learnt from that experience and how it has shaped the person you are today.
- THE BAD
Paragraph 2
Generally I am pretty happy with this paragraph, although I think my main criticism is there is a grammatical error (“success and failure is” instead of saying are). Again, proof reading is important and there’s no time limit for it, so do it properly! Also, although I mentioned it elsewhere there was a missed opportunity to use the medical buzzword “multidisciplinary”. You don’t need to completely pack your work with these (especially if you’ve already displayed a lot of actual subject knowledge), but it’s good to add them in where appropriate.
MAIN BODY
Paragraph 3
Four months of volunteering to help a year 6 pupil with maths showed me how things needed to be explained in several ways, requiring mental flexibility. This is like the anaesthetist I shadowed in theatre; having to explain the procedure in multiple ways to ensure the patient understood so could fully consent.
- THE GOOD
Paragraph 3
This is the shortest paragraph in the statement, but it didn’t need to be long. I was able to relate voluntary experience as a tutor, which isn’t directly medical related, back to how this experience has made me a better potential medical student. Stating how long i did it for shows that I am committed and reliable. Plus it never hurts to mention other things you did outside of school and science/health based work experience.
- THE BAD
Paragraph 3
However, if one paragraph had to be removed from the personal statement it would be this one as it doesn’t explicitly add anything to my personal statement. It demonstrates some positive character traits, but those could be easily deciphered from other parts of the statement. If i had more characters I would have elaborated further on how I felt tutoring was similar to the anaesthetist I shadowed but it is a bit vague. This paragraph does fulfil its job of showing extracurricular activities however, no matter how briefly. This will almost always be a plus for the admissions team.
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CONCLUSION
Whilst reading papers in the BMJ and The Beautiful Cure, I have found a love for scientific writing. I am a part of the Young Scientist Journal’s outreach team as an ambassador for medicine. This has allowed me to combine my love for writing with teamwork by being able to be part of the publishing and work in a multidisciplinary team comparable to an ICU, inspiring future medics and scientists. Alongside Journal volunteering, I am completing my gold DofE, which has improved my dedication and time management skills, alongside developing new skills such as orienteering requiring patience. Having also had many roles of great responsibility and leadership opportunities, such as being head girl of my sixth form, I have a realistic image of what it is like to pursue medicine. I am committed to following a lifelong career in the medical field, in order to better the lives of others.
- THE GOOD
Conclusion
This is probably my biggest structural gripe with my personal statement, as this is essentially my extracurricular/super-curricular paragraph more than my conclusion. That’s not to say the content is bad though. It shows that I would be able to add to the university community as a whole and that I did things outside of my academics. I was still able to relate it back to medicine which I know Cambridge particularly love when you are able to see your degree in everyday things. The last sentence pretty much sums up my intentions with both this personal statement and my application as a whole, which is always important to do.
- THE BAD
Conclusion
However, this does not function as a traditional conclusion. Looking back on this, the conclusion itself definitely deserved more room to breath, while the extra-curricular information could have been combined with the previous paragraph. It could also have been made a lot more concise as this is probably the least important paragraph for Cambridge particularly, as they care a lot more about academics. Reducing this would have freed up characters which i could have used for my other more vague paragraphs and to expand my conclusion by a sentence or two.
Final Thoughts
- THE GOOD
Overall
I think that this was very personal to me and effectively takes anyone reading through my journey of deciding to pursue medicine. I managed to have a wide range of experiences to write about and so is very easy and interesting to read. I went a lot deeper into actual subject discussion than you would traditionally do in a personal statement, but I felt that it would be good to show instead of tell when it came to my interests and abilities.
My biggest piece of advice would be simply to be yourself. It sounds cliched but an admissions team is going to easily see through a disingenuous personal statement that’s ticking off all the boxes and not providing depth to the experiences and emotions being described.
- THE BAD
Overall
My biggest mistake with this personal statement was definitely my proof-reading. I made a few grammatical errors which should have been easily spotted had I taken the time to read through it properly a few times. When proof-reading, don’t do it all in one go; take a look at it once each day for a while or even get someone else to read through it if you’re comfortable with that. As long as you haven’t left it all to the last minute, you’ll have plenty of time to take a step back and look at it with fresh eyes.
I also clearly had a lot to write about in this statement, which is definitely a good thing. However, at times it seems a bit vague and generic as I sacrificed quantity over quality. This isn’t necessarily a problem as there would be a lot of overlap if I thoroughly discussed everything, but it’s important to flesh out any important or unique areas to provide more information about yourself.
Lastly, I wish I had tackled the conclusion better. What I wrote was fine for what it is, but admissions teams do like to have a summary of yourself that’s a bit more in-depth that what I provided. It ties everything together and reaffirms why you would be perfect for their medical school.
So there you have it! This personal statement helped Elizabeth get 4/4 offers in her application, which is the best thing any applicant could hope for.
Everyone has different experiences and abilities, so you may not be able to relate to everything that was said in this personal statement. However, the information and advice provided by Elizabeth is universal and will help any applicant write a better personal statement!
Be sure to check out more Medicine Personal Statement Analyses to see advice from all different kinds of applicants, including Ali Abdaal himself, who also attended Cambridge! Or if you want to get started on your own statement, check out 6med’s Medicine Mastery Bundle for all the support and resources you’ll ever need for your entire application.
More Medicine Personal Statement Examples & Inspiration
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Are you feeling stuck with your Personal Statement?
Signing up to the Personal Statement Bundle means you’ll be guided by expert Medics who will help you write the perfect Personal Statement and provide unlimited redraft submissions.
Want to learn how to Write the Perfect Personal Statement? This bundle is the one for you…
